


Missing

by Suganyeon



Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, F/F, F/M, Kidnapping, M/M, Mo Dao Zu Shi - Freeform, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:34:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 42
Words: 34,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26604544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suganyeon/pseuds/Suganyeon
Summary: When Wei Wuxian escaped his nightmare, he thought he would return to his normal life.But now, seeing someone else in his place, what will he do to recover what is his, and how far will he go for it?
Relationships: Lan Zhan/Wei Ying, Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji
Comments: 42
Kudos: 126





	1. Chapter 1

"What are you looking at?" Lan Xichen asked his little brother, seeing as he stood in the middle of the snowy street, eyes fixated on something beyond his field of vision.

The little boy made no sound. Lifting his hand to point somewhere on the other side of the road, pulling the hand he was holding to make his big brother move. He was a child of few words, but stubborn in his resolutions.

Xichen let himself be dragged, looking both sides to make sure of the absence of incoming traffic. He felt the little hand on his own, tightening excitedly to make his way in the packed boulevard.

Their destiny was a small boy, crouched on the floor, back pressed to the wall. He had no shoes, and dirty, ragged clothes, too thin to the weather, and all the heat he received came from the frail arms he held around his knees. He seemed hungry, weak, apparently the same age as the four-year-old little boy by his side, just smaller.

Lan Wangji took his jacket, placing it above the boy that jumped at the unexpected gift. He took his gloves, grabbing the boy's hand to fit on it. Furrowing his brows when it got to lose. One and, and then the other, not giving space to give up until the boy seemed warm.

Big brown eyes alternated between the brothers. Surprised by the action. Followed by a shy, low, broken voice "mine?"

"Mn" the small Lan nodded, getting up, small hands rushing to find the buns he had in his pocket. Ears red when he received a big smile from the view of food. Only when he was sure the boy was warm and fed he turned around to walk back to his parents.

"Thank you, gege" the boy waved happily, running to nowhere, holding the precious bun in his hands.

"You did good, Wangji '' Xichen spoke, taking his brother in his arms. He was so young, so innocent, and for the first time, he showed how big his heart was, caring for others even when he was colder than the snow. "You did good"

The brothers reunited with their proud parents watching from afar the scene. That day, they all moved to a warm house. Warm food. But Xichen still thought for a long time how amazing it was that the small kid had nothing, but smiled so bright.

\-----------------------

Wuxian ran down the neighborhood with a big smile. He had gloves and a fur coat covering his small body for the first time in his life. He was used to being poor, to beg on streets, be kicked, and send out all the time.

But he did not care, since every time he got home, he would have his mother smiling at him, asking about his day as she laid on bed. And he would tell her all his adventures, share the bread, as her hands fluffed his dark hair.

At least, it was what he used to do. That day, however, as he got close to the decrypted shabby cottage, he smelled the smoke before he got to see it... His house. Burning. With no presence of his parents.

He searched around the people looking, the same ones just staring as all his life burned in front of his eyes. No movements made to end the flames, only getting higher.

"M-mom?" He cried, calling the attention of those watching the scene. "Mom!! Dad!!!" His screams were louder than the whispers of "poor kid" coming from the crowd.

"Kid, was this your house?" He saw a policeman asked, holding his shoulder. Then, before he could respond, the world showed his true colors "Where did you get those clothes? Did you steal them from somewhere?"

The white clothes, with baby blue clouds contrasting from his dirty self. They were too big, too clean, too fancy for a street rat like him. Catching the attention of the man.

"N-No! Gege gave them to me?" He tried to plead, set himself free from the older hand. But even so, even though he had just lost his parents, even telling the truth, he still saw himself dragged to the back of the car. His new clothes were taken away as he was guided inside.

"It's a beggar and a thief, boss. What should we do to him?"

"Good riddance... Look him up. Three less on the streets today"

Upon hearing that, the boy bit the hand holding him down and did the only thing he could do. He ran away. Leaving behind his new clothes, stepping on his precious bun.

He had nowhere to go. No place to stay. So he just ran away.


	2. Chapter 2

"Wei Ying?" An unfamiliar voice called him as he laid on the wet floor. It had been months since this was his new life. Old bites scabbing his skin from the fights for food with wild animals. He did not shower for ages, not eaten, or drank clean water since the accident. "Poor boy. Are you hungry?"

He had no straight to move. To speak. Muttering a "yes" with all he had, but even so, the words never let his mouth. He could feel the arms surrounding his frail body. The warmth of an embrace he missed for so long. This man did not care for how he looked. Taking him home and caring for him.

It took him days to open his eyes again. To a ceiling, he never saw before. Clean, warm. The fragrance of food invading his nose. He jumped to sit, looking around. Almost falling when he tried to stand up.

"Calm down" the arms holding him said. "Take your time"

The girl wasn't so much older than him. She had a lovely face. Hair braided held in a bun. Behind her a small boy followed then back to bed, looking as if Wuxian was a new toy he was anxious to take out to play. In his hands, the source of the smell, a tray with a dish of soup steaming.

Wuxian swallowed big just looking at the dish. It seemed the most beautiful, tasty thing he had ever seen. "Can I have that?" He asked, pointing to the tray.

"Of course silly, this is for you" she laughed putting him back to bed.

"All?"

"Yes. We made it just for you"

"Did he die and found angels?" He kept thinking, looking at the two persons in front of him. But as soon as the dish was out of his hands, all his mind could think of was to gulp it down as quickly as he could, so no one would take it away.

"Slow down. You had a fever for a few days. You should drink it slowly now. Build up your straight" she pressed her hand over his back moving from up to bottom repeatedly. The movement did calm him down. He could swear he felt it before.

"Do you remember how you got here?"

"..." Only after hearing that he realized.... He doesn't remember anything. A vague sensation of being loved. A flash of a face he no longer could recognize. But that was all. He did not know who he was. Where he was.

The girl saw the panic coming to his mind. The tremble of those small hands, she kept rubbing his back, uncertain of what to do. She waited until the boy calmed down. Until he lost to his hunger and finished the bowl. Until he got back to sleep, crying for the Lost of something he wasn't even sure existed.

She waited for a long time. Being brave to not shred the tears forming on her eyes. And only when she was alone, when she had moved long past the bedroom door, she sobbed for the little boy with no memories that had just become her brother.


	3. Chapter 3

The days became years and the years months. And Wei Wuxian had almost completely forgotten his past life. Devoting his memories to the new family he had created.

The only thing that still lingered on his memory was the golden eyes of the boy who gave him his furry coat on a snowy day. And that was only because the same boy would become his best friend.

Wuxian laughed freely when he met Lan Wangji after such a long time. He had clothes on shoes on his body, but still was still wearing the same smile. And the two hit it off quite nicely after the bumpy first encounter. To that day, even if the Lan's had a very strict curfew, the boy would always run half of the way so they could get home on time, even when Wuxian stopped to kick, poke or jump everything that moved, aside from the dreadful fluffy dogs on the streets, that, was taken care of by his loyal knight, sending all away even when it was only a puppy playing around.

It was on one of those late days, when both were late, that they encountered a crying small boy sitting in the streets.

"Hey, Didi. Don't cry. Why don't you tell your gege's here what the problem is?" Wuxian cupped the boy's face, drying his tears the best he could with his hands before noticing the little pokes on his shoulder, and the handkerchief given to him. He nodded with a smile before turning back to the boy. Saving the moment so he could mock the small Lan for this gesture later.

"I-i a-am l-lost" said the boy between hiccups

"It's okay, we can help you!" Wuxian smiled at him, seeing the kid make a strange face at his offer. "Oh, you shouldn't speak with strangers... I am Wei Wuxian, and this is my loyal servant Lan Wangji" he laughed at the crunch of his nose given by the Lan.

"I... I am... Wang Zhan" the small boy spoke, trying to control his tears. He was still trembling, what made the little Wei heart hurt in empathy, after all, he knew what was being lost too.

"You can go ahead, Lan Zhan. I am going to take him home and go to mine after"

"Bu-"

"No buts. You're going to be late if you go with us, and I prefer to face the dogs than have uncle Qiren mad at me" he made an ugly face playing with his words.

Even after walking for a while, Lan Wangji looked over his shoulder seeing the boys getting each step further away. In his heart, he felt a sudden desire to bring Wuxian back to Gusu with him. To protect the mischievous boy. But he just kept walking as he was always told... Breaking the rules is forbidden... And his curfew to the small boy was the biggest of them all.

\-------

Wuxian felt the small hand on his sweaty as they walked. He tried to make fun of the people passing through them, but the small child seemed impossible to please, almost too nervous to laugh at his jokes.

I'd didn't take longer than to get in the middle of an empty street. One that sent chills to Wuxian spine. He never walked so far before, not alone.

"Are you sure this is the way?" He asked looking around to see if he could find an adult or some sort of sign to where they were.

"J-just a little further"

But before he could answer he felt cloth over his face, blocking his nose and mouth, and a sweet strong smell that made his whole body weak. While his vision got blurry he could hear the small boy cry, sobbing "I'm sorry" repeatedly

It was all so fast his small brain couldn't process what happened. When he opened his eyes again he was in a dark room. No windows, dark grey walls, one small bed, a toilet, a sink, a dim light, a door with one small opening, and a strong smell of moisture all over the place.

He could walk around the room, touch every corner of it, he still had his clothes and shoes on him. But nothing more... Only the handkerchief with then Lan clouds embroidery.

Wuxian felt panic take over his body. His head was still spinning, and the distant buzz of the lamp made it all more serious. He hit the door, screaming, crying, begging to be set free, but for a long time, maybe days, maybe weeks, all he had was the small passage on the door being open to giving him food and water, and nothing more.


	4. Chapter 4

For a long time, he could not process he stayed there, alone, in that room. No one to talk to, nothing to see. He felt like he was going crazy by each time he slept again. Longer, deeper. Until one day, the hatch opened for a little bit longer than usual.

"I'm sorry" he could whisper through the opening.

"Why me?" He asked, knowing that voice.

"It... It wasn't me. He asked for you"

"Who's he?" He spoke a little too loud, making the boy run away leaving only the footsteps echoing behind. Wuxian banged, screamed, begged again and again. But on that day, and many to come, the hatch was open only enough to deliver his food.

The blurry of the passing days became a mess inside his head. And he started to mark it by the times the hatch opened. Sometimes, he could see the faint daylight, others he would hear screams muffled by the walls. And when he marked the passing of two weeks, the small boy spoke once again.

"He told me is okay if we talk now"

"Who is he?"

"He... Is someone you don't want to meet. He is evil"

"Did he hurt you? Is that why you brought me here?" He was genuinely concerned by the kid.

"N-No. Not me. The others"

"The ones screaming?"

"Mn"

"Wang... Help me scape"

"I can't"

"Please!"

He heard "sorry" being whispered before the boy ran away.

I. That shady room, with almost no light, he kept thinking "why? Why him? Why being locked only to starve to death again?" And every now and then his eyes would pause on the small while he dug on the wall, the one he very carefully placed a piece of fabric, and every time, he would think of the golden-eyed boy. Did he search for him? Did he miss him? Thank God it wasn't him there


	5. Chapter 5

"Do you remember the boy who was with me? Is he here too?"

"N-No" the voice whispered outside "w-was he a good friend?"

"Mn. The best! He hated me at first, I dirtied his clothes with mud, and his uncle almost had a heart attack seeing him" Wuxian laughed recording his memories "But what could I do? I was so happy to see him again. I forgot I was playing in the mud!"

"Y-you met him before?"

"Mn! On the streets. He gave me a furry coat, a beautiful one. Blue and white, with clouds pattern on it"

"H-how is it? To have a friend?"

"You don't have any?"

"N-No. I grew up here. he doesn't let me go outside if not to bring a new kid"

"Hey, Wang?"

"I-its Momo"

"What?"

"My name. You can call me Momo"

"Yeah... I figured you wouldn't give me your real name... So... Why do you do that? Bring kids to this... Person?"

"H-he... He would hurt us if I say no. The others, you. He is very bad when he is mad"

"Does he hurt you?"

"Mn! S-sometimes. When I don't do what he asked"

"Can't you escape? Bring help?"

"N-No... I.. I tried once. He killed my mother. If I do it again... My brothers..." Wuxian could feel the distress in his voice. He noticed the boy was shaking, fearing the rage of their captor.

"Don't worry. I am here now, okay?" He pressed his body against the wall, if he could, he would hug the boy, bring him to safety, but what could he do locked inside there?

With each passing day, the boy would come, they would chat about Wuxian's life. His past, his memories. He learned that there were a couple of brothers in the room next to his. That other had been freed from there before, and every now and then a new kid would come.

The man had this habit, he left them locked till their fighting spirit was broken, and when he was satisfied, he would send them away, back to his old life.

It made a light turn up inside Wuxian brain. Out there, his family and friends must still be searching for him. He knew that. He knew he would not be forgotten or left behind. He knew they loved him. All he needed to do was be good, and he would be once again in their arms.

That was what he hoped for with all his heart... But one day, the hatch stopped opening. And for a time no sign of Momo could be seen... Until he heard the door unlock, and the face of the man he only heard about flashed in front of him.

"Get out" the deep voice echoed on the walls. The man is tall, built. Old but not so much. He could easily take Wuxian down if he ran away.

The boy gathered his straight and was almost blinded when the light of day burned his eyes after months in that room. The man took him up the stairs, through corridors and doors until he reached a living room. It was a house! A normal house. All this time he was in the attic of a house!

His heart started to race inside his chest. If he was getting out, it must mean he was going to be set free, right? He looked outside, the windows showing him the green of threes, the frail colors of spring. He had completely lost the track of time until he looked up the calendar on the wall. June His head hurts, even more, he was in August when he was kidnaped, if the writing was right it must mean one of two things. The man did not rip the pages or... One year. It has been almost one year since he was in that hell!

"You think this is a bad place. But it isn't. I took you here cuz out there nobody cares for you" the man spoke turning the TV on.

"You are lying! My family would never stop searching for me!" Wuxian screamed as loud as he could. Sure of his words.

"Oh, yeah? Then why did they never find you?" The man pointed to the screen, showing the broadcast "why did they give up on you?"

Wuxian looked at the anchor speaking, his heart raced even more. His eyes hurting, burning, his head spinning. "Happy end! A local boy missing for two years was found alive walking down the streets. Wei Wuxian, eight years old when he disappeared, was found this week walking in Busan. The police still estimate how the boy could go so. Far, but the family says it is him, and express the gratitude for their son finally returning home, ending their nightmare"

He blinked several times adjusting to what he was seeing. His heart sunk in his chest seeing his parents hug another kid.

"They don't even care enough to know you aren't him. Only I do. Only I love you enough." He felt the man come closer behind him, hug him, speaking over and over on his ears how deeply he was loved. "Don't fear my boy. From now one, I am here for you"

And just like that, his nightmare took shape, and the days he dreaded to think about began.


	6. Chapter 6

"Delegacy of Yi city. Detective Lan Xichen, badge 078964. Accompanied by detective Nie Mingjue, badge 083648. Investigating the accusations of identity steal. Casefile 736482g, case closed in 2012." The detective narrated all the per minor needed when he started the record. "Can you say your name and age, please"

"Wei Wuxian. I... I don't know for sure what year we are in. So I don't know my age"

"We are in 2020"

"Ten years" Wuxian whispered to himself. He spent ten years inside that room.

"Pardon me?"

"Ah... 18. I am eighteen years old, sir" he stopped for a minute before continuing in a very rushed aggravate tone "my son. Where is my son?"

"The child is in the intensive care unit. You may see him after we check the story" the detective tone was cold. It was a case they both knew well, since involved people close to their families. In any other case, they would never be allowed to participate in the investigation, but they were the best at it in their local precinct, and time was rushing if the boy was telling the truth.

"Please, keep your words focused on what was asked," the second detective said after a pause. "Tell us what happened"

"I..." Wuxian blinked several times. Trying to get a grip on the situation. "I was kidnaped when I was eight years old, sir"

"Do you know your captive? Where you were kept?"

"Yes!" He almost screamed "that's what I am trying to say! You need to send people there! There are still people locked inside!" He kept telling it over and over again, but no one seemed to really care about after he told them his name.

"You do understand that the kid named Wei Wuxian is alive, and we'll, living with his family since he was ten"

"And I am telling you, that isn't me!" He hit the table, making both detectives look serious at him.

He watched the first detective sigh at his action, shaking his head with closed eyes. "Mister... Wei. The kid in question is a close friend of my brother since childhood. Are you feeling me you another kid exchanged places and is living your life and no one else has noticed it until now?"

"That is exactly what I am trying to say!" He was ready to be mocked at, by in his heart, he held the hope of at least one person believing his words.

The detectives exchanged glares before asking the address where he was held all this time. They saw the boy going pale, and a faint voice coming out of his mouth "I... Don't know sir." It was almost too easy to tell it was a lie. They were ready to end the tape when the boy started speaking again "it was dark when I left. All I can remember is that it had woods all over the house. I can probably draw a map from the hospital, but not from there to here, or give you say names of streets"

They looked at the boy once again, reaching for a piece of paper and a pen. Lan Xichen put it in front of Wei Wuxian, his eyes gentle, a softer tone to his voice "then please, give us your map".

Wuxian did the best he could to show the probable location. He did memorize the way he ran to the hospital, caring a small boy in his arms. But he was too afraid to get it all and say for sure that it was right. "This... Should be it. It was a two store house at least. He keeps us under the attic, there. Is an opening under the stairs"

"And how did you got out?" Nie Mingjue asked with a face full of doubts

"He... He let us go... I think" The detectives took the paper as soon as the boy let go of the pen.

"Thank you" they left the room and locked the door, standing outside.

"Are we really doing this?" Mingjue asked looking at the poorly drawn map.

"We don't have nothing to lose here," Xichen told him looking through the glass window on the door, at the frail boy eating his own fingernails in distress. "There is something about him... About his story... That bugs me"

"You were never wrong before, Xi." Mingjue scratched his head with one hand on his hips. "If he is telling the truth... Damnit... This is all fucked up"

"Take the dogs with you, Ming. Don't let anything untouched. Let's consider it a special case"

"Top priority?"

"Yes"

"Fuck"

Only when his partner left, Lan Xichen got inside the room again. But not before he took a deep breath, praying the Lord's the boy was lying. Praying he did not want to hell while other was living his life. Praying he would forgive them if it was true. What a mess.


	7. Chapter 7

Lan Xichen walked inside the room and sat in front of Wei Wuxian. He looked composed and cold at first, but now, it was like a thought crossed his mind, occupied it, making almost aloof. He poured a cup of water pushing it into the boy's direction. "Can you tell me about the day you were kidnaped?" He followed the rules, one by one, starting with the basic questions... Especially because he dreaded the principal ones.

"Ah, yes sir" Wuxian played with the cup, thinking how it was the best way to start.

"Take your time" Xichen spoke, seeing the worried look on his face, making Wuxian take a deep breath before anything.

_I was walking home with my friend. We saw a young boy crying in the streets, he told us he was lost and I offered help"

"And you friend?"

"He had a strict curfew. So I sent him home before me"

"Why did you do it? Did you not realize the danger you were putting yourself into?"

"Not at the time. No sir. I only saw a small boy crying for help. And I didn't want to disturb my friend's life. So I sent him away before his uncle got mad at us again"

"And said friend's name was...?"

"Lan Zhan, sir. Ah... Lan Wangji" Lan Xichen's blood got colder hearing his baby brother name.

"Continue" he tried to be serious, to fake politeness and not show any reaction to the name.

"He walked me to a desert street. When I realized I didn't know where I was, I was ready to turn around, but someone put a piece of fabric over my mouth and nose. And when I wake up I was...."his hands trembled, making the cup split a little of his liquor "I was there"

Lan Xichen watched as the boy breathed faster. Eyes going dark to the memories of the place. He waited as long as was necessary for Wuxian to speak again.

"I remember being scared. It was dark, cold. The walls... The wall! Sir! There's something on the wall that I need to get back" he pushed his whole body to the front crashing hard with the table, almost turning over the pot of water above it.

"Calm down, okay? We can retrieve whatever you need once we find the place. But you need to continue your story" he looked at the boy nod sitting back up, eyes still focused on the cup squeezed in his hands. Silence taking place.

"Why don't you tell me what is on the wall?" He asked, seeing that Wei Wuxian didn't know where to start again.

"A handkerchief" he smiled ever so softly to the memories there. The little happy ones he still held through the years.

"Okay" Xichen added when he got silent again "you found yourself in this room, were you ever able to leave? Bathroom maybe? Or to eat?"

"No sir. The room had a toilet. And the food was given to me by a hatch on the door. At first, the kid who lured me in would speak to me thru that, but after some time he stopped coming"

"About what would you talk about? And do you know why he stopped going to you? Did something happened to him?"

"We spoke about my life, sir. And..." Wuxian paused before continuing "he just stopped coming one day. I don't know why"

Xichen could see he was lying.

"Did you ever get out of the room?"

"At that time, only once. That man took me to the living room, to watch TV"

"Watch TV?" He raised a brown inquiring

Wuxian stared at the officer for a little, a simple coming to his lips, never reaching the eyes, before saying "he took me to see my family happily accepting another kid like me"

Xichen saw the tears falling on his face, marking the way over the dusty cheeks of the boy, his lips turning upside down. He got up, needing to breathe air that was not enough in that room. "Why don't we take a break? I will check on the others" he ran away as fast as he could, out of the room, out of the precinct, feeling the cold of the night hit his face.

His heart beating fast while he thought only one thing: That boy was broken.


	8. Chapter 8

When Mingjue reached the hospital he was sure he would go back empty-handed. The story was too weird to be true. And after all this time, the kid said he was just "let go"? It was impossible for his mind to comprehend this. He brought the dogs and made them sniff on Wuxian shirt. The dirty fabric made him nauseated by the strong smell. At least it would be good for the dogs.

They got the scent, and if not by one street it matched perfectly with the map drawn by Wei Wuxian. Mingjue cursed when he reached the house. The door flat opened, he called several times before getting inside. He searched every room, corner, and Mobile that could be used as a hidden place. Moving slowly, each step closer to the location where the boy said was the door of the attic.

He found the stairs without a problem, not one lock or closed the hatch on his way, making his whole body shiver when he saw a long corridor leading to four doors. He passed the first one, looking inside he saw nothing, nodding with his head to call the others as he got ready to enter the second room. His body froze when he saw the hanging corpse. Hearing the footsteps of his man's moving to the other rooms. By the age and description, he had his suspicions.

He walked slowly until the bed searching the small hole in the wall, took the fabric on his hands after putting his gloves, and placed it inside a plastic bag. There was no way he would deliver it back before doing his tests.

\--------------

His line of thoughts was broken by the call of one of his man's "we have victims here" he rushed two doors down to find a couple, old enough to be his age, skinny and pale enough to have lived there their whole life. The smell of dirt got to his nose as soon as the two crossed his way. It was the same he felt walking inside that place as if they didn't take a shower for years.

He walked outside, calling the ambulance, seeing the couple watch with tears the night sky. When he was pocketing his phone he felt it buzz.

*Xi, you won't believe it. The boy was telling the truth. We have two more here with us" He was dumb folded seeing his man's direct the couple further away from the house.

"And the suspect?"

"Hanging from the ceiling in one of the rooms. We still need confirmation of his identity, but I am pretty sure it's him"

"Confirm it as soon as you can" Xichen put his phone down, already having a headache from all the repercussions it would have on media.

He walked inside with a smile on his face. Getting to the boy. "we found the house. Your friends are safe"

"And the man?"

"Dead. You don't have to worry anymore." He expected to see the boy smile, scream, and get happy with the news. But he was confused by his actions.

Wuxian felt his heartbreak, physically ache. His sobs are so painful, so intense it gets the attention of everyone walking outside. It's almost as if he had lost a dear person... The silent tears became loud sobs, the sobs screams. He held his chest tight, the new shirt provided getting clutched by his fingers, ripped by his nails. It hurt to see.

The last person in this heart who loved him, the only "friend" who cared for him... Was dead. And it was all his fault.


	9. Chapter 9

Xichen let the boy cry for a long time. Recording every inch of his movements, waiting patiently until he was able to speak again. "Do you think you can continue?" He asked when the boy finished his water.

Wuxian nodded without a word. Taking a few breaths. "After the boy was gone, for a long time nobody talked to me. Only that man would come to my bed at night. Saying over and over again how much he loved. How much he was the only one who cared" he sobbed again, feeling the pain mixed with relief. In the beginning, he would just do that. Hug me from behind while I faced the wall. For months I think. Repeating those words so much I almost believe I them"

"Almost?"

"Mn. Every time he spoke I would look to the wall, to the white fabric placed there. I would remember the golden eyes... The same ones who found me dirty and freezing on the streets. Who gave me warmth on the worst day of my life... The same eyes that I knew must be still searching for me"

"Lan Wangji handkerchief?"

"Mn. But then... It changed"

"What changed?"

"He did. He would put handcuffs on my hand, and take me to another room. One where the brothers would be. At first, he left me there and walked away. For hours, until night came and he would take me back to my room, put me on the bed and cuddle until I slept"

"Do you know their names?"

"Yes, sir. Jin Guangyao and Qin Su. They told me they were half brothers. His own kids. As was the little boy before. They were kids from others like us"

"Did you see the others?"

"No, sir. Only them"

Xichen held his breath, he had to ask the difficult question. He had to know. "Did he ever... Did more than sleep with you?" He saw as the boy went pale. Looking down trying to hide his face, nodding shyly.

"He... He..." He opened and closed his mouth several times trying to find his words. He was shaken, visibly, distressed by the memories still fresh "he took me to that room a lot. Made me... Watch at first"

"Watch?"

"As he raped them... First, he would always make them go naked, handcuff her hands to the bed, and make Yao get on top of her. And then... When they started... He would join them. Fucking him as he fucked her. Sometimes both did her. Depending on his mood, other times only him. He made me watch many times. Always taking me back to sleep in my own room. But then..."

His eyes got darker as the memories made its way into his head. The click of the door, the man standing in front of his bed. Wuxian sat on the tired mattress, waiting for the order that never came. Instead, the man pulled down his pants, brushing his soft dick on the boy's face "lick it" the deep voice said, bringing a hint of alcohol on it.

When Wuxian tried to move away, his cheeks met the hard surface of his captor's hand, he could feel the blood slip from the cut on his lip, the painful aching when it touched the sweat of the member getting hammered onto his mouth. A taste he was never able to forget.

"It was like that for a long time. He would come, spur on my mouth, and then go to the brother's room. Without a fail, coming back to sleep next to me every day"

"And why did you all accept it? Did he threaten you in any way?"

"We were locked in a room, no way to escape. Every time we said no he would beat us and leave us days without food or water. Only to have to do it anyways before getting anything. We do what we need to survive, sir... We just wished to get out"

"Yes. Sorry, it was a stupid question. Go on" 

"It didn't take long after that to him... Do those things with me too. So much that it became natural. He would give me chocolates, bring books, anything that I asked if I opened my legs to him without a fight. And he would always say that it was because he loved me so much he could not resist the urge. That I seduced him, aroused him." Wuxian made his best to remember the man's words one by one.

"One day, he took me out of the room. He made me clean the house, do the dishes. Even taught me how to cook. My presence seemed to appease his Will's, and he would touch me every day less. As if I do what he wanted without question made him lose interest. So I did my best to accomplish his wishes."

"His wishes?"

"It was like he wanted... A wife? A lover. Someone who would be by his side and love him"

"Did you loved him?" The question came out before he could even think, the image of Wuxian tears filling his head.

"Not really. For a time, maybe, I thought it was love. But then..."

"Then?"

"When I behaved, he would let me watch TV with him. And it came out a reportage about me. Well, the other me. He was happy with my family, it said it has been five years since he was found. And they wanted to show his progress since it was such an unusual case."

"Yes, I remember it"

Wuxian nodded before continuing, "it showed him with what was supposed to be my family and friends. They gave an interview on his behave, saying how it was good to have him back"

"It must have to be hard"

"It was... Especially since he appeared. He was... he said he was happy to have e him back." Wuxian laughed looking down, tears making his vision blurry. "He never noticed it wasn't me..."

"Him?

"After that even when his face would show up on my head, I ignored. Doing anything and everything to please that man. He was... Like really bad medicine. It was disgusting to touch or be touched by him, but with time... I only had him."

"I don't think I understand where you are going"

"Everyone that knew me was long gone. It had been seven years. I was forgotten, traded. I only had that man. To talk, the only one who cared about me in this world... And now he is gone" he whispered the last part. 

"I am sure your family will be happy to see you"

"Will them? They lived so far and never even noticed I wasn't there."

"It... It was complicated"

"It is more for me, don't you think?"

Xichen was lost in his words. He cleared his throat, changing the subject. "Can you tell me about the little boy?"

"Sizhui"

"Pardon"

"His name is Sizhui." Wuxian stared at him "one day he asked me if I was alone. Of course, I was. I was hoping he would let me go out. Maybe I could escape. But it was not the case"

"Was when he brought the kid?"

"No... He took me out before that. He wanted me to lure a boy to come with me. So the same the other kid did to me"

"And you...?"

"No! Of course not!" He screamed his words, begging to the cop believe in them "he made me go to a desert street. I had won his trust by now"

"Why didn't you tried to escape?"

"He told me he would kill the brothers if I did so" Wuxian exhaled, "I think is the same he did with the other boy"

"I see... And then? What Happened?"

"He wanted me to approach a boy. And I did. But I couldn't let him go through the same I was going. So I asked him if he was alone. And when he called his sister I screamed loudly for them to run away. To never take that route again, never be alone. I remember the girl pulling the boy as fast as she could. Scared of a crazy kid screaming loudly at them. And him... He took me back, and hit me so hard I thought I was going to die. But at least... The wasn't new faces around"

"You saved them."

"It didn't feel like that. I asked myself over and over again if I did right when he let me weeks without food, giving me a cup of water every now and then, a small dish even less frequent. I couldn't even move anymore... I remember sleeping, a lot, so much I lost track of the days passing. When I wake up, I had a needle on my arm, and a bag of something tripping on it. It was what made me feel better. But he would do it only when I was feeling like dying. He would sit beside me, telling repeatedly 'if only you Obeid'. I wished to dye during that time. I had nothing to lose. And he noticed it"

"Did you ever tried...during the time you were there?"

"Mn. When I got better he tried to make sex with me again. But I started to fight back. I was just too tired for it. But he would just beat me and leave"

"You did good surviving all this time"

"Did I? What do I have here for me? You won't even let me see my son"

"Is he your son? You told me you were alone in that room."

"He is. When I started refusing him, he brought a girl there. She was so scared. She even feared me. He would come to make love with me. But never touched her. She would get handcuffed to the latrine when he was there during the night, while I was to the bed. And soon, he made me do her. When she got pregnant he told me I could kill the baby, or have him, if I promised to be good and obey his orders. I couldn't imagine raising a kid there, but even less to kill it. She thought the same. So we accepted"

"There was no other girl inside the room. Did she scaped with you?"

"No. Jiaojiao died on Sizhui birth. It was... Hard to deliver him. He seemed to know what he was doing but... There was so much blood. She didn't make it"

"Jiaojiao?... Was it her name?"

"A nickname. Her name was Wang Lingjiao. From Nightless City by what she told me"

"Do you know what he did to her body?"

"No sir. I feared if I asked he would take my baby from me. So I just kept quiet and lived by his words."

"What kind of words?"

"Nothing bad. Maybe because the kid was always sick, maybe because I was quieter now, but he would only ask me to be good in bed, do the chores around the house. He would even bring the kid to stay with me during the day, or let me stay upstairs when he grew a little more and asked for me"

"And you never ran?"

"No. I couldn't. I was chained, sir. It was long enough to get to the kitchen or the living room, but not to reach the door, and he would always be looking at my every move. When Sizhui grew older, he asked why I was chained, and he could not say anything. It was when he locked us in that hellish room again. But Sizhui got sicker by the day. And I begged him to let me take him to the doctors. This time... I feared he was dying. He was so pale. So thin. I just couldn't bring him to keep any food. He is so small, and yet..." Wuxian tears cut Xichen's heart. He could feel the pain the boy caries with him.

"How did you escape?"

"He let us go. He just opened the door, and let me take him. Told me where the hospital was and took the chains away"

"Just like that?"

"Yes sir. The last thing he told me was 'i am doing it because I love you". Maybe he did... Can I see my son now?"

"I... I will see what I can do"

Xichen walked out of the room as the time Mingjue was back to the precinct. He let the two brothers to the hospital and came back when the doctors said it was best to let them rest. He came back to get Wuxian after the doctor lectured that there was the first place the boy should have been taken to. 

Lan Xichen had just turned his phone off when Mingjue walked to him. "It was a mess, Xi. But nothing different from his words. I... Can't even imagine. If he is right then..."

"There is nothing we can do now. But I don't think he is lying"

"Damn guts"


	10. Chapter 10

It was Mingjue time to hear the other side of the story. 

By a miracle, Wuxian had taken the boy to the hospital just in time. But his condition was, to say the least, horrible. He lacked many vitamins and nutrients in his body, some associated with the non-existent breastfeeding, others for the low intake of sun. He was malnutrition, thinner, and smaller than average to his age. All of them were.

Xichen waited until Mingjue ended his interrogatory, confirming with the brothers the words of Wuxian, the young man took a seat beside the boy, never letting his hand go, even when he didn't wake up. He just stood there, caressing his hair and asking sorry, for him to wake up soon.

Xichen had called the Jiang's before the hospital and was conflicted by the reactions on the phone. He took a hot chocolate and junk food from the machine back to the boy, allowing him to be with his son before his family arrived.

It was almost a day when the Jiang's got to the hospital. It was not the best place for the reunion, but Xichen managed to get a private room for it. He told Wei Wuxian what was going on, seeing the boy panic to the mention of his parents. "Take deep breaths. Everything will be okay"

The first thing he saw when he walked into the room was the shock on everyone's eyes. It was awkward, to say the least, but Wei Wuxian held his head up, looking back tearfully at them. When he stopped, in the middle of the room, no one reached to him, hurting his heart more than he thought. Even more than when he looked past them, to the man who now held his life on hands.

"Is this some kind of a joke?" Jiang Cheng asked, with his "brother" by his side, hand in hand.

"I can't even imagine how strange it must feel, but when do are inclined to think he is the real Wei Wuxian"

"Real my ass, are you saying the person I grew with is an impostor?"

"Jiang Cheng!" Jiang Fermniang calmed his son, "let's hear what he has to say"

It did take a while for Wuxian to speak his story, letting out all the heavier parts. He tried his best not to cry or feel betrayed when the people in front of him stood shaking heads to his words.

"How can you say you are him? He remembers his previous life. He wouldn't if he wasn't Wuxian! He even knows where it happened!" Madam Yu called out. Trying to reach any breach of the story. 

Wuxian just watched as his family dismissed his presence as if he wasn't there. He just looked at the boy, too ashamed to look him back, eyes always on the floor. It was then, that he did the unimaginable. 

"Wei Wuxian was kidnaped when he was eight. Walking down a street with Lan Wangji. He had a mole under his lip. His family died in a fire. On a snowy day, and it was hard, but not impossible to accept it with your help. He... I even got happy to be part of the Jiang's. We would do lotus soup to help me adjust. And I made a small toy puppy out of old clothes because you had to give your dogs away. Of course, anty was pissed because that was all I had to wear, but I wanted it to be as close as the puppy was. Uncle bought me my first shoes, but they were too big, and I didn't want to say it, so we stacked cotton on it to stop them from getting out of my feet. Those are the things I never told you. Wuxian spoke in one go, non-stop.

"My name" he told the boy ignoring the adults on the place. "You can have this family, this life. I just want my name back, Mo Xuanyu. This is the last thing I have from my parents. Be Jiang Xuanyu, Jiang Wuxian, for all that I care about. But my family name, my Wei, was the only thing I always wished to keep, even refusing to change when I was adopted, the last trace of who I was... That, please, allow me to have" he turned to Xichen, all tears gone, "I will be with him if you need me" leaving the room without saying anything else.

Those were the things he never spoke about, the things "Wei Wuxian" suddenly couldn't remember after the trauma of being kidnapped. The moments he held dear with that family who had just dismissed all about him.

The eyes turned to Xuanyu, hidden behind a shocked Jiang Cheng. The thought of wrongness filled them. If this was the real Wei Wuxian, why do the other boy knows about this? And why, this one just kept quiet? The relief they felt when the police told them he was found, came back to his hearts in form of fear. Did we just let out boy suffer for several years just to make our family complete again?


	11. Chapter 11

"That was brave. What you did" 

"Life is too short to dwell over small things. I lived... I don't even know how long locked in a dark room. All I want now is my son. And see him grow in a place different from there" they were back to Sizhui's room. Watching the boy breath struggling to breathe as he slept.

"What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know."

"Where do you plan to go?"

"I don't know". It was true. He did not know what to do. He couldn't go back "home" nor back to that man's house. He had no place, no one, nothing. Just the small, half-dead boy lying on the bed.

"They won't let you be here, after visit hours end"

"I can stay outside"

"And the clothes? Food? You need to at least take a shower, and sleep"

"I can ask to use hospital facilities. And beg for money on the streets. For clothes for the staff. I am good at it"

"And later? After the boy recovers? Are you taking him with you to the streets?"

"I can think about it when the time arrives. Even if I need to sell myself, anywhere is better than where we were."

Xichen felt his heart clench. He was whiling to whore himself out for his son. And he knew, given his circumstances it was probably what he would end up doing. 

"You can stay with me until you get yourself back together" he pitted the boy, a little guilty growing on his insides. "I know one person who will be glad to see you"

The confusion growing on Wuxian face made Xichen realize one thing "you didn't pay attention to my name, did you? I am Lan Xichen. Lan Wangji brother"


	12. Chapter 12

Wei Wuxian was wrecked. He felt conflicted about leaving the hospital, doing so only after the doctors assured him they would call if anything happened in the time he was away. He got out of the car feeling the warm air of the morning hit his skin. Eyes squinted for the amount of sun he hasn't taken in so long. He stood there, one hand on the door, other laying beside his body, recording how it was to play under the sunlight.

Xichen let the boy enjoy the moment for a while, before taking him inside the house. It was big enough for both of them, fancy, and clean. A sweet wooden small welcomed them at the entrance. "You can have a bath while I fix the room" Xichen spoke as he guided Wuxian through the house. "Wait here" he came back a few seconds later, giving the boy a clean pajama and a towel.

Wuxian looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, staring back was the face of a man he didn't know who it was. Dirty, Skinner. He felt ashamed to be seen like that. He dismissed his thoughts looking at the shower. The few clothes he was wearing were, by instructions, dropped on plastic bags.

He cried when the warm water washed his face. How long was it? Since he could take a long bath like this? Not from a bucket or a hose? His eyes burned to the thought. Using all he could, he washed his hair, body, mouth. Rubbing so hard his skin was turning red. He wished he could just clean his whole life away. He took permission to use Xichen shaver, and cut out all his beard, leaving a few drops of blood to be risen by water. That man used to do it, trimming his beard every time it got too big

He got the clothes given to him on his hands, he never felt silk so soft before. It was like having nothing on his skin. It was almost two hours later when he got out of the bathroom, guiding himself to the kitchen by a delicious smell in the air.

"Sorry I took too long" he spoke to Xichen when he saw the man making coffee.

"Just enough for me to finish cooking" it was a simple soup, light to his stomach since he wasn't used to "real food". But for a starving Wei Wuxian, it was like food made in heaven.  
He gulped it as fast as he could, getting seconds as he pleased. Hearing only the laugh of Xichen, and the complaints for him to slow down.

He was so full, that when his body hit the bed, and his eyes closed, he slept in seconds, tired from everything that happened the night before.

When he woke up the night was already here. He jumped out of bed, rushing to the entryway, wishing to find Xichen. But when he opened the door his face was flattened by a hard chest, falling down if not by the pair of arms holding him up.

It was a surprising moment for both men, a little scared to Wuxian when he saw a golden pair of eyes look down at him. "Wei Ying?" Lan Wangji called. He had heard all the stories from his brother and asked to come when Xichen had to go to work.

Wuxian's heart raced in his chest, "Lan Zhan", he jumped closing the door when he heard a dog bark. "Sorry. I am not good with dogs"

"It's okay" Lan Wangji observed the man in front of him. He did have a few traces of his long lost friend, and his fear for dogs was there too. He was actually a gamble Xichen took to believe or not on this 'Wuxian'. When the boy reappeared Lan Wangji spent months saying that it was not him. And only kept quiet after his uncle made him. He still carried a few scars from the Incident on his back.

"Come in... Ah, you must be used to this house. What am I saying" Wuxian hit his forehead, moving to get further away from the door. The open space gives him chills."What are you doing here?"

"Xichen told me you were in his house. He asked me to bring some things you may like, to help you feel comfortable".

"Does your bag have a small kid for me?" He chuckled, at least tried, since he was too nervous to function properly. He knew someday he would meet the younger Lan but hoped it wouldn't be so soon.

"Sorry. We can go to the hospital if you like. I bought some of my old clothes for you to change... If you don't mind it being mine. We can buy more later s-"

"It's alright" Wuxian cut the rant, seeing the boy as nervous as he was. They were complete strangers now, but something on the other carried a sense of familiarity still present. "I can use those, no problem" he started to take off his pajama shirt in the living room, watched closely by Wangji.

The Lan felt his heart hurt to the vision. Wuxian's back was filled with old scars, new bruises ran down his torso, chest, stomach, his arms, and legs. There was a viable mark on his wrists from the hard metal of handcuffs made by the several tries to escape his destiny. He was thin, pale. Not even close to the bright boy he once was.

"Does it look this bad? You are making an ugly face" Wuxian spoke, seeing Wangji’s eyes stuck on his skin.

"No. Just..." He felt his eyes burn "there are so many"

"Mn. He was rough when drunk"

"Do you mind if I..." He raised a hand, fingers lingering on the air.

"Not at all, here" Wuxian gave him his wrist, feeling Wangji fingertips trace the marks on it. He was used to being seen naked, touched, but the delicate touch made him blush and swallow dry, sending a different kind of emotion to his groin. One he wasn't used to. He rushed to put his clothes on, "I'm done, let go"

"Here, eat this" Wangji gave him a sanduíche, and orange juice, walking to the door, he knew by now his ears were red.


	13. Chapter 13

When they arrived at the hospital, Wuxian felt glad he was finally out of the car. He cursed Lan Wangji never being good with others, silent, and all the small talks he tried to make, commenting on how things changed, or mentioning old memories always ended with an "Mn".

What he didn't realize was the boiling heat inside the other, each time a shared memory was mentioned. One of those the other 'Wuxian' so conveniently had forgotten. But it was Xichen's plan to use Wangji to know which one was the real one. So he could not induce him in the talks, using his traditional "Mn's" to answer just so he would not let the other with nothing.

When they were close to the boy room, they noticed nurses and doctors running, a whole staff rushing to the same room they were going into. Being blocked at the entrance by two big buff men with hospital uniforms. "I'm sorry, what's going on? What happened to my kid?" Wangji watched Wuxian scream with eyes wide open, feeling a strange thing to the word 'son'. One hung was hear about it, other, way different, was see.

"Calm down, Sir" one of the nurses came to them allowing his entrance "we are just happy the kid wake up" he walked inside to see a lot of candies and stuffed animals placed on the bed, and all the nurses who had contact with Sizhui, even a few who just heard his case, standing around and talking to the boy to make him comfortable.

"Dada" the boy raised his arms with a big smile when he noticed his father. Being crushed in a big hug, chuckling and laughing "it Hurts"

"You scared me so much! You can never do it again, you heard me? Never ever!" It was a bittersweet moment. One that made Wuxian cry, and this time, for the first in his life, for pure joy.

Wangji greeted every staff as they left the room, walking close when only the doctor stood still. He nodded confirming he could speak to him.

"Sir, your son woke up a half an hour ago. We had just turned off the phone with the cop who was with you yesterday when you arrived. My apologies for the late delay of that wonderful news. But..'' There was always a but "he still needed to stay for a few more days. His condition is critical since his body lacks a bunch of nutrients. He will need to be on a special diet and constantly be accompanied by a pediatrician. He was lucky this time. The pneumonia wasn't so severe, he was just malnutritious"

It met deaf ears as Wuxian couldn't really understand what he was saying, but Lan Wangji nodded to everything, making sure to memorize the diet recommended, grab the list of medications, and ask all things he was curious about while Wuxian hugged his kid. He felt like a dad seeing the mother nurture their son. And he did not dislike it. Especially since the certain that this was the real Wei grew inside of him by every movement the other made.

He was with them during the visit hours, getting the boy and making sure to remember to bring him a gift the next time he was there. Finding it endearing to see both people interacting. It was like they weren't in a nightmare. Like they were on a vacation or some sort of funny trip. Happiness and laughs allowed only.

Xichen knocked on the door when he arrived, bringing with him a few lollipops approved by the doctor. "I see you wake up, little boy. You scared your dad a lot"

Sizhui giggled feeling the tickles the man gave him.

"Shi, this is the man I told you about. The one who let me sleep in his house. See, he is good, even bought you a gift. How do you say"

"Fank you, mistar police offisar" the boy gave his best to greet Xichen. A shy smile was placed on his face when he reached for the candy. "Dada, what's this?"

"These are candies. It's sweet, put one on your mouth and let it melt on your tongue" Wuxian took the wrapping, giving it to the boy who made the same with another one, to give to his father. "Did you like it?" He opened a big mouth to receive the small sugarish treat.

"Mn!" The boy nodded "sweet" putting both hands on his stuffed cheeks, giggling at the new sensation.

"The doctor said he can leave by the end of the week if nothing else shows up until there. He will need constant care, and medicine, but otherwise, he is good to go" Wangji informed his brother when the scene ended.

Xichen let a deep breath go, rubbing his chin "I can take care of the medicine and all the rest, but we need to find a closer hospital, or I won't be able to drive you there during my work hours" he spoke to Wuxian, seeing the boy open his mouth to answer, but is cut short.

"I can take care of it" Wangji spoke out of nowhere.

"We can't disturb you too, Lan Zhan, I can find a way, if it's closer I just need to memorize the way and we can walk there"

"No sense. The cold isn't good to him, and is not a disturbance to me"

"Then I will accept it. We will be in your care. I will repay both of you when I found a way to get money"

"That is not necessary," Xichen spoke, remembering his words from the previous night. "When you get back into your feet I am sure we can arrange something for you to do. But it is not necessary to leave the house. It is too big for only me, anyways, feel free to consider it home"

"We appreciate it, Mister Lan, but we don't need your pity"

"Calm me Xichen, Wuxian. And it is not pity if I offer it out of goodwill. What happened to you was a sad thing, no one should go through it. And I am sure you don't want your son living on the streets, do you?"

He saw Wuxian reminiscing for a moment, shaking his head soon after, *No, I don't"

"Then that is it. Stay as long as you need"

"I will be with you" Wangji spoke after it was settled.

"I knew you would" Xichen laughed, seeing his brother blush.

"You don't need to, Lan Zhan"

"Brother had asked me before. I just didn't want to disturb him. But now, it would help. I can teach you the basics you missed in school, and how to function in society. How to walk on the streets without getting lost"

"We would like that very much, right Shi?" Wuxian hugged his son, seeing him nod and laugh, cuddling into his arms.

"If you forgive us, I need to talk to my brother" Xichen called Wangji outside, nodding to the man on the bed, smiling and waving to the small kid. They seemed like a normal family in his eyes. Not even close to the past they had suffered. Almost normal.

Only when they closed the door Xichen looked back to his young brother. "You think is him?"

"I am sure it is."

"Why?"

"He spoke of things we did when we were kids"

"He could have heard about it from the real Wuxian"

"He fears dogs"

"This is a common fear, and again, it can be all a play learned to deceive us"

"He has a mole under his lips. My Wei Yig had it. The other one doesn't"

Xichen let another breath go out. He remembered it being one of the things Lan Wangji used to confirm that "Wei Wuxian wasn't Wei Ying".

"It's been almost ten years. If they had listened to you... Fuck" Xichen passed a hand over his hair. Seeing his brother look through the door window inside the room.

"He still has the same smile, the same laugh. This is my Wei Ying. I just know it" his eyes never leaving the man inside the room, playing happily with the stuffed animals the kid received. He felt his eyes tear "if only I had not gave up then"

"You couldn't do anything when everybody else said it was over"

"I could have made them believe me"

"How? Wangji... I still remember what Uncle did to you. That's why I asked you to move with me so persistently. He should never have hit you so much back then. I should never let him. If you are guilty, so am I. Do you care about bad feelings toward me?"

"Never! Brother was always there for me"

"So don't care then for yourself. I regretted what happened. But we need to find a way to help him now. We can't change the past or the things he went thru, but we can help him now"

"Mn. Brother is right as always"

"I am counting on you. Can you manage it with your school?"

"I will apply for a leave"

"Are you sure?"

"Wei Ying is more important. If he needs me, I want to be there"

"Alright then. Mingjue is with the brothers. I will find him and see if he needs something before coming to get you both"


	14. Chapter 14

Xichen smiled when he walked into the brother’s room, hearing Mingjue talk about the things surrounding them. The boy looked astonished at every single thing on TV, what made Mingjue explain, or at least try to, almost all the stuff they saw. He had never left the room, was born and raised there, a child of another victim the man had. The same happened with the girl, laid on the bed sleeping soundly over the noises.

"You will wake her up" Xichen spoke, getting close to them.

"Qin Su can sleep over anything, noise won't wake her up. She wasn't feeling so well" the boy nodded to his presence, explaining.

"And you?"

"I am very well, sir" he did look a little better now that he was clean.

"Aren't you going home, Ming?"

"I could ask the same to you. How's the boy?"

"Child Wei is very well. The kid Sizhui woke up feeling very happy to see his father"

"So the kid is called Sizhui? Was there something wrong with him? And Wuxian is here? Can we see him?" Guangyao didn't know what to ask first, so he just made all his questions in one go.

"It is, indeed Sizhui. He had a severe case of pneumonia since the room you lived in wasn't appropriate for a kid. He is well, malnutritious, but getting better as we speak. Child Wei is with him. I will let him know you are awake and to come visit"

"Let him know, please. But do not take him away from the kid just for that"

"Did you never met him?" Xichen asked curiously.

"We heard his cry, his laugh, and voice. But never saw him."

"The report will be done tomorrow. All the details are written there for you, Xi. I read the transcripts from Wuxian file. The story match" Mingjue crossed his arms, letting his legs rest extended on the floor. "I still can't believe he would do something like that. He didn't look like that"

"Father wasn't a bad man, sir. He just loved us too much" the voice of the boy seems weak when he spoke, looking at his sister. "he wanted us safe from the world"

"Kid, I know what you had been thru, and I know is hard. But what he did wasn't protection. It was a crime. One I sure wished he was alive to pay for it all"

"Ming..." Xichen called him putting a hand on his shoulder. It was clear he agreed with him, but the tears on the boy's face made it even more clear that he wasn't in a good state of mind to hear it.

"Sorry, sorry" Mingjue put his hands on the air "sorry for what I said. But I mean it. He was not a good man. And you should know that"

Pinching his nose, Xichen squeezed Mingjue's shoulder. "I will leave you for today. We will see each other tomorrow, Guangyao. Goodbye" he left the room feeling tired. It was such a complicated situation. The girl seems to agree with them, but the boy... Had a stockolmish thinking engraved to his bones.

"What a mess" he muttered walking back to Sizhui room. Suddenly even more ired to the presence looking through the window door. "Miss, can I help you?"

Jiang Yanli looked at him, he could see the panic on her face. The confusion of her feelings building up. "Sir, can we talk?"

"Sure" he took her away, but not before she could give a last look inside the room, smiling fondly to the man playing with toys.

She pushed a Tupperware to his hands as soon as they seat. A small plushie o top of it. It was an old, ragged bunny toy. She had made it for Wuxian and kept it when he disappeared. "Can you please give it to him? Is lotus soup. His favorite"

"And the bunny?" It was well cared for. A few sew here and there from where the time ripped the fabric, but other than that, it could be seen that it was cared with love.

"I have it to my brother in the short stay he had with us. If that boy recognizes it, you will know it is him... It had... A very peculiar name" she laughed recording the name.

"Can you tell me?"

"For sure. This little bunny here was named by someone very close to you. But since my brother didn't know the name by then, he used a very peculiar trait. It's called the golden bunny"

Xichen clenched his browns. There was not a single trace of golden on the yellowish-white and blue plushie.

Yanli skilled amused seeing the confusion on his face. "It's short for golden-eyed bunny. And later... ZhanZhan"

It was as if all the gears came in place inside Xichen's mind. The handkerchief, the way the boy called his brother. Not by his common name, but birth one. The constant reference to golden eyes on his story. He had kept his brother on his heart after all this time.

"Miss... Why are you giving him this?" He asked confused.

"Because I believe that is my brother"


	15. Chapter 15

"What do you mean by that? You family told him the contrary yesterday"

"When the police told us they found Wuxian, I was the one sent to recognize the boy, together with my mom. He was indeed very similar in hair and eye color. He had a few traces close to what he should look by the time but... That boy... He was smaller than my brother was. He acted differently. Talked differently. He had a lot of things that didn't match. Including a few moles and scars on his body. My Wuxian, he had an old scar on his ankle, from when he climbed and felt from a three. He had a mole under his mouth, and was always smiling, no matter what happened to him"

"But your family recognize him"

"Yes. We did. Because the alternative was too sad to be faced. You need to understand. My mom was tired. We spent two years searching for him, fearing he was dead. Being the center of unwanted attention. We had him for less than two years before he disappeared. And even though my mother may say she loves him, she disapproved of many things he did as a child. This boy... The boy the world was saying that was my brother... And I am not creating excuses, you see, he was just... Different. I think this is what made her put on her mind that it was him. The relief to end it all. To make it all go away, and just go back to a normal life. We grew to love him the same way but... He wasn't MY brother. Not the one we lost. If we knew he was alive then... I think things would have changed but to us... It was best to have a fake alive... then have nothing." She dried a few years, letting a small sob come out "if only we knew...."

Xichen didn't understand this logic. He would never accept another person in place of his brother, no matter if the kid was quieter or better than he is. Lan Wangji had many flaws, but he was HIS baby brother. And no one else could replace him in his heart. He just... Felt anger. To the crying woman in front of him, to the stupid parents who let him go, to the man who took him away, and all the adults working on the case who did nothing more than let a child live in hell to give an end to a cold case. He felt... Dirt, wrong.

"I will give it to him. Parson me, miss" he walked away without looking back. Without even noticing if she had gone away or not. His heart had no place for her tears as he saw the small boy cry many more telling his side of the story.

He stood at the door, looking at Wei Wuxian laughing at his baby brother making faces at the child. It was the first to see it. Lan Wangji reaching to another person. Making himself ridiculous so the other would smile. He thought to himself, even if he had to take care of them for the rest of his life, he would gladly, just to see his brother smiling like that. The second thing that passed onto his mind was "there is no way in hell I will let the Jiang's have him back". He walked inside holding the Tróia gift hidden by his body. "It's ending the visitor's hours, why don't we out the baby to sleep before going home?"


	16. Chapter 16

"Xichen, what's this?" Wuxian was on the balcony, seeing the man heat soup on the pan "is that... Lotus soup?" His eyes shined recording the smell.

"Indeed, it is. I heard you like it"

"It's my favorite!!! Who told you that?"

Xichen looked at the happy boy in front of him. A lung was placed on his throat making it hard to swallow. He could just pretend it was someone else, but the boy had suffered so much already, lying would not help anything. "Your sister made this"

Wuxian smile faded to those words. A sudden pang on his heart, remembering the first time Yanli made him that soup. It smelled the same then.

"Wei Ying?" Lan Wangji took him out of his memories, rubbing circles on his back "are you okay?"

"Yes, Lan Zhan. You don't need to worry. Just... Tired and sad."

"It may be worse but..." Xichen moved to his coat. Taking a ragged bunny from inside. "She asked me to pass this for you"

Wuxian eyes widened when he saw the stuffed animal. Making grabby hands, he took someone looking the doll before pushing it to Wangji face "look, Lan Zhan, it's Zhanzhan!!! I told you I had a bunny! Ha! I never lied in my life! But you would never believe it!"

The name. Xichen was pulled in a moment to the name used. "His name is Zhanzhan?"

"Oh, yes! It was golden-eyed bunny, but it was too long. So I asked for advice from my uncle and he told me to name it as something I liked. And the only thing that crossed my mind was Lan Zhan's face. But I didn't knew his name then, so I named after his eyes. Our Lan Zhan has very beautiful eyes" he cupped Lan Wangji face, rubbing his noses together for a moment leaving the boy with dark red ears go free.

The memories only he knew the name of the stuffed doll, his sister's testimony. Xichen traded glares with Lan Wangji, they both knew what was happening. Sometimes, at some point, the real Wuxian was traded by someone else. And this boy, this frail human was the real one. But who in the world was the impostor?

Xichen saw Wuxian eat content. He let him finish all the soup by himself, watching as he gave a few spoons to Wangji to drink. Yaming at the end of the dinner. He had slept for almost a day but was so full, that his body was starting to shut down. Wuxian snuggled when Lan Wangji carried him to bed, giving good night before vanishing inside the room. Leaving the older Lan thinking in the peculiarities of this case.


	17. Chapter 17

Wangji sat Wuxian on the bed. Changing his clothes to the pajamas before pulling him up. "Nooo... I want to sleeppp"

"Brush your teeth first, then bed" he guided the boy to the bathroom, leaving him there as he changed clothes. Wuxian eyes walked to his body. The difference in solidity making him made.

"This is so unfair" he walked close to the Lan, one hand still brushing his mouth "we lived the same amount, but we are so different. Look" he pressed his bare cheat onto Wangji's skin, pulling up his pajama shirt. "You are so big compared to me. It's shameful" he pouted.

"Wei Ying has nothing to be ashamed of" Wangji pushed his shirt down, making him go back to the bathroom, following close.

"You say it 'cuz you grew so well. You wouldn't be saying it if you were like me" he spits the paste on the sink, turning to the Lan putting his brush on his mouth. Wangji only side-looked at him. "No comments?"

"No talk with a mouth full" Wangji took the brush out, spoke, and put it back.

"Urgh, I did not miss those damn Lan rules" he threw himself on the bed, giggling.

"You make too much noise" Wangji turned off the lights getting into the arranged bed they made him on the floor.

"You never said I was noise before" he could hear the other tone, imagining him pouting.

"We never slept in the same room".

"That's true... Lan Zhan... Do you think we would still be friends if that didn't happen?"

"... No."

"Mn. That seems right" it was a sad voice that came out.

"..." Wangji turned to the bed, seeing the face watching him. The beautiful face that hunted his life. "If Wei Ying was around we would be more than just friends"

"Like best friends?" He smiled brightly at the thought.

"..." Wangji had to remind himself, lovers were a concept he learned long before Wuxian vanished from his life. So the same could be said to the boy, except, he was never in a place he could know about those things. "Yes" he whispered. Hearing the other giggling as he turned around embarrassed.

"Lan Zhan was always my best friend" he said one last time. Getting silent with the night.


	18. Chapter 18

After a long time, Lan Wangji could hear the rustling of sheets as the boy grunted, unable to sleep "what is the problem?"

"Ah, did I wake you? Sorry, Lan Zhan. I just..." he didn't know how to explain it "I am super tired but... It feels so wrong. I don't know how I slept yesterday"

"What is wrong?"

"The bed. Is so big. I think I got used to being hugged in my sleep" Wuxian heard the room go back to the peaceful silence it had before. For a few minutes, all he could hear was their breathing and the noise of the aircon.

He turned around hearing the ruffling of Wangji sheets, seeing his shadow-like figure getting up and close to him. One knee, and the other, the man laid behind him spooning his body. "Is it better like this?" He gave an arm to be used as a pillow, pulling Wuxian's closer to his heat.

"Y-yeah" Wuxian felt his heart race, face getting hot. Never, ever in his life, he felt like this by only being embraced. He prayed Wangji couldn't hear his heartbeat, feeling it even on his back... "Your heart is beating so fast" he spoke after realizing it was not his own.

"Wei Your ng has this effect on me. Now sleep, or I will go back to the floor" Wangji felt Wuxian pull his arm over him, holding it tight afraid to let go.

"Please, don't. I don't like to be alone in the dark"

"Mn. I will stay with Wei Ying as long as he wants me to. But now, sleep. We need to go out tomorrow"

"Out? Where to?"

"Yes. I need to go to university. Wei Ying and Sizhui need clothes too. So we will do it tomorrow"

"You are too good to us, Lan Zhan. It makes it hard on me"

"Why?"

"I can't repay you like that. All you and your brother give us" he hugged the bunny plushie closer.

"There is no need to repay. He there said so himself. We... I... Just want to be here for you. Can you allow me that?"

"Mn." Wuxian turned around, facing the Lan "stay as close as you want. If this makes you happy. I am happy to obey"

"This is not an order"

"I know. Lan Zhan, I may be dumb, but I am not stupid. I just... Feel happy seeing you smile. Always did. Am I allowed to?"

"Mn. Wei Ying can do whatever you want."


	19. Chapter 19

Wuxian was mesmerized by everything he saw walking through the campus. The buildings, the people, the different accents that reached his ears. He felt in a strange world, and in reality, it indeed was, at least for him. The places, the colors, the smells, it was completely distinct from when he was a child.

He looked around at each step they gave with a stronghold on to the arm Lan Wangji kindly offered to be his shelter. It was unlike him to feel so anxious, but it was dissimilar to his life, being around so many new faces. The worst part was when Wangji left him to sit at the canteen, waiting for him with his friends. It was Wuxian’s idea, but he regretted the moment the other was away.

"You don't remember us, do you?" Huaisang asked, pouting, chin over crossed hands on the table.

"I am sorry" Wuxian looked down. He wasn't sure what would be the polite thing to say.

"Is not a problem" Lou Qingyang hit Sang's head. She was the only woman in their small group, and at times she felt like the mother to misbehaved children. "We understand. And we can always again" she smiled pressing a hand over Wuxian's.

"I assume you are my bro... no, Jiang Cheng friend?" He corrected his wording with a heavy heart.

"We are. Yours too. We used to play around when we were kids" she spoke slowly allowing him to take in the information.

"I... Think... I record it... But... Is kinda hazy" he rubbed his temper trying to remember.

"Well, I am hurt you only remember Wangji" Sang pouted even harder faking pain.

"No, you don't. If anything you are amused by all this" she hit his head once more. "Don't take his words seriously. You and Wangji had always been... Special to each other. It would be weird if you forgot him"

"Did... Did we?" Wuxian felt a light heat on his cheeks that he couldn't understand the reason to. He only remembered the scene he saw many years ago on TV. The scene of a small boy surrounded by friends and family, and golden eyes shyly playing with him.

"You were!" She rushed to confirm "best friends forever, you used to say"

"Was he... Did he... I mean..." He felt his insides twist. It was a different place. Strange people. Not used to the world he heard walking here, he felt dumb. The gap between him and the other, with Lan Zhan increasing.

"You can speak normally" he heard Wangji's voice before he felt the hand on his shoulder. "We understand even if you make a mistake. I will always understand Wei Ying" he gave emphasis to the I.

"Did you was the same with Momo? When you taught he was me?" He felt anxious to hear the answer.

"I had to. But my heart and mind always knew he was different. We are good friends. But... It was never the same" he sat down holding Wuxian's hand. Squeezing it a little harder.

"You had?"

"Mn. Uncle told me to act normal. And to stop saying he wasn't you"

"You knew?" Wuxian eyes suddenly hurt.

"Mn. There were many differences between you too"

"Like what?" He fished and responded. He didn't know to what.

"My Wei Ying was brave, always smiling even hungry and barefoot in the cold winter. He feared dogs only for distant barks. And... MY Wei Ying was kissed by the angels" Wangji fingers played with the mole under Wuxian lips, caressing lightly the delicate skin.

"See... This atmosphere you two have... Never happened with wux-... Sorry, I don't know how to call him"

"He is Wuxian for you. So you can keep calling him that. You can just call me by my birth name" he smiled sadly at the girl.

"No!" Wangji was firm on his reprimand.

"No?" Taking the others by surprise.

"No. I like to be the only one calling you that"

"Oh..." He laughed to hide his embarrassment. "Don't be silly, Lan Zhan. It would be confusing to call both of us Wuxian"

"They can use the family name. Call him Jiang. Only I can use your birth name" he stared deep into Wuxian eyes. Not caring for the ones around them.

"Okay..." Wuxian muttered clearing his throat and looking at the others. "But.. Why are you even talking like that to me? Is not like I have any proof of who I am" he changed the subject, avoiding the other dominance and the thing he felt on his groins created by the stare.

"But we don't have any reason not to" Huaisang spoke, getting up. "And wangji told us not to be mean" he protect his head from a hit that never came

"He is right. We trust Lan Wangji. And we believe he would never mistake you. He loves 'Wuxian' after all" she smiled, mocking the boy red ears.

"Love?" He asked more about the feeling than the reason. He heard the world many times but never understood what it really meant to love a person, not a couple's love at least. He knew he could die for his son. And he remembers to this day the caring touches of his mother and father. But romantic love was a strange concept to his child's mind.

"Do you love Wuxian?" He asked again, seeing as Lan Wangji stood quietly in place.

"No" he was short and quick to answer this time. Not Wuxian. Wei Ying" the gaze burning on the other's soul.

"Oh..." Wuxian felt his heart beating fast. It was a thing he felt only related to Wangji.


	20. Chapter 20

They talked about many things, the nuances of the Jiang Wuxian they grew with, and the small differences between them. Momo played a good role faking who he was, but those close to him could see it. The way he became passive on his choices, never being the first to act, say or ask for something. The way he barely smiled, nor played Wuxian famous silly pranks. They all heard it was normal behavior to what he had been thru. Pushing it aside on their minds, leaving only the happiness of having their friend back. Especially Jiang cheng.

All the time Lan Wangji observed the wave of emotion taking over Wuxian's face. The sad smile he would give, pretending not to care for being replaced. The cautionary way he asked things. And the gentle squeezes he would give to his hands when people got closer.

He parted ways with the others seeing tiredness on Wuxian's face. Taking him shopping at force as the other refused to admit any need for rest.

"Should we go home first? Or to the hospital?" He spoke when they left the third store. They had bought the basics, for now, clothes, utilities, and toys, getting ready for the coming day of Sizhui going home.

"The hospital, please" Wuxian put his seatbelt beaming with the thought of seeing his son, the bunny plushie he just bought secured onto his arms. "I don't know why you asked for two" he played with the stuffed animal long ears. They were of different colors, a white and a black one.

"This one is for Sizhui" he pointed to the small white bunnies, "and this one's for you" then, placed his hand over the black fur. "We can't bring Sizhui home for now. So I thought this way, you both can feel connected"

"I-" Wuxian lost his words, feeling his heart clenching. He hugged the bunny to not hug the man behind the wheel. "Thank you, I liked it" he smiled brightly.

"Mn" Wangji's side looked at his bent face, replying to his gesture with a small smile on his own.

"Lan Zhan... Is that a smile I see?" He was surprised to see emotions in his stoic friend.

"Mn"

"Do it again!" His hand touched the other cheeks, pulling up the corner of his lips. "Come one! You look great when you smile, you know that?"

"Nonsense" he replied, using a little of straight to control his expressions.


	21. Chapter 21

The ride to the hospital was short, full of laughs from Wei Wuxian, and adoring glares from Lan Wangji. He felt conflicted in his heart. He was so happy to have Wuxian back but so sad to miss all of this. He watched the boy run outside the car, bumping on people holding the stuffed animals in and until he reached the room.

"A-YUAN!" he screamed from the door, and even from the corridors, Wangji could hear the giggles from the kid when his father jumped over him.

"Look, look! Lan Zhan bought us bunnies!! He said this one is mine, and this is yours, so we can be close even when I am not here!" He changed the wording, connected being a word so uncommon to his vocabulary that was weird, and a little hard to say.

"Dada, it's pwetty! Fluffy!" He hugged the small toy smiling while pressing his whole head into it.

"Mn! Mine too!" He took his time telling the kid about all the clothes they got, the places he visited, the people they crossed on streets, telling him about new experiences he would make sure the kid was going to have. He only shut his mouth when the doctor came to the room.

"Why am I not surprised by the noises in this room?" The doctor laughed looking at them, pressing bunny kisses into each other's face. "How are you feeling today, Wei Wuxian?" He got closer looking at the boy. "Did you rest well? Eat? You look tired"

"We were shopping," Wangji said to him.

"He shouldn't be out by now. His body still needs to adjust to the outside world again. Take it easy, okay? I will reinforce your vitamins for the next few days. Remember your only going out of here because mister Lan gave me his word to take care of you at home"

"Brother is indeed doing so. And when he is out I am by his side"

"That is good. Did you rethink the sleeping pills?"

"I..." He was a little embarrassed to admit something he made sure Wangji didn't see before "don’t know if I want them" He knew too well the effects of drugs by now. 

"It's okay. Take your time then. Tell me if you need a recipe. Anything else is a problem?" He was checking Wuxian vitals while speaking, looking at eyes, and throat.

"My heart. It goes really fast. Like tun tun tuntun, it hurts sometimes too. And my head feels light"

"And when this happens? Is it something you do? Or think about it?" He watched the blood rush to Wuxian's face.

"It's when... Lan Zhan..." The stethoscope getting hold of the variations on heartbeats. It did increase. But not by sickness.

"You two have a story, am I right?" He asked, looking to a flustered Wangji.

"Mn."

"Am I sick? Do I need to stay here? Can you treat it?"

"Is not a sickness, child. Well, not one I can heal. Why don't you ask your friend when you go home later? I am sure he will be glad to answer it" the doctor smiled amused by the minuscule expressions of embarrassment on Wangji's face.


	22. Chapter 22

It was late at night when they reached home. Taking only the necessary amount of time to drop his jacket and shoes, Wuxian turned over to Wangji and asked. "Lan Zhan, why does my heart beat faster with you? And why did the doctor say it wasn't an illness, but you could care for it?" He tilted his head confused.

Wangji cleared his throat before responding, crossing to the kitchen before saying anything. He saw the curious boy follow him, sitting on the countertop chair waiting for his answer.

"It is... A normal feeling"

"Normal?"

"Yes. It happens in everyone's life"

"What is it? Why does it only happen when I am close or thinking of you?"

"Has it happened before? Can you remember?"

Wuxian took some time to think. He tried to recall the first time he felt it. Not by fear, but from whatever it was that was related to Wangji.

"Mn. When I saw your face on TV. I was sad because I thought you forgot me. But seeing you, even remembering you, my heart always goes tun tun tun, super fast!"

Wangji blushed, hiding his mouth with a hand. He was trying to control the smile urging to appear. He had acknowledged by now that Wuxian actions and feelings were stuck on the age he had when he was kidnapped. As if all his growth was frozen in time.

"It is..." He didn't know how to start explaining. "Do you ever feel like this to others? To the man who took you?"

"Mnnn... Not really. At first, yes. When he would hold me my heart would beat fast, but I was scared then. Is this fear? But you aren't scary to me"

"No. This is not fear. Is a different feeling. A good one"

"What is it then?"

"It is... Love"

"Love? Isn't it love what you feel for a family member? It doesn't go like that when I think of Sizhui" his head leaned to the side, brows Furrowing, confused.

"There are many types of love. This warm feeling you have for family and friends. Love for objects and things we cherish, and... For a special person"

"Then... My heart beats fast because you are special to me? But I always knew that!" He moved closer to Wangji, placing a hand to his chest. "Am I special for you too?" He felt his heartbeat growing steady

"Mn. Very much. Wei Ying is the most special person in this world"

"Did you feel like that for Momo too? Or others you met before?"

"No. You are unique for me" he placed his hands on Wuxian waist, pulling him closer. Staring deeply at his eyes, fighting the urge to kiss him. They stood there for a moment. Feeling each other. Allowing the time to pass slowly while they were in his own world.

"Lan Zhan..."

"Mn?"

"Let's have sex" those words were enough to make Lan Wangji choke in surprise.

"What?" He screamed surprised.

"Wow, your heart is going crazy" Wuxian looked at his hand, feeling the palpitations under his fingers.

"Wei Ying... What did you say?"

"Mh? Your heart is beating crazy" he tilted his head in confusion. It was adorable to Wangji to see him like that, but he cared less at that moment.

"Before that" he wanted more than anything to make sure of what he heard.

"Ah! Let's have sex! My dick is up!" He was innocent in his mind, not understanding why it was so strange to be said.

"Wei Ying.. you... You can't say this to people"

"Why? Is it bad?" His brows furrowed harder seeing Wangji avoiding his gaze.

"It is not something you should do. No. There are people who do it with anyone but... Sex is... Something you should do with someone you love and cherish, someone special to you"

"But you are special to me. And you said my heat is faster cuz I love you. Isn't it okay to just do it?" His hands reached to Wangji pants while he spoke.

"Wei Ying!" He stopped the hands from going further. "This is... You shouldn't be doing this" the hands were fighting it's good to reach the pants again. "Wei Ying stop"

"Why? Don't you want it? I am good at it you know?" He grabbed the tip of Wangji’s belt, pulling his waist closer to him.

"STOP" he screamed out of breath. The last strain of control flowing over his body. The words he just heard repeating into his mind.

"S-sorry. Sorry" Wuxian tears came down in one second, flinching to the arms pulling him into a hug.


	23. Chapter 23

Lan Wangji caressed his back and head, whispering into his ears "no, I am the one who is sorry. The things you lived... The things you didn't.... The world isn't the place you were taught. This... This is something you should do when you love someone. When you want a relationship. A family with them. I don't want you to feel rushed. I don't want to force you. You just got your freedom. You will meet so many people now. Have so many feelings. I don't want you to feel obligated to do anything for or be with me. I want you to be happy. Free. Like you were supposed to" he hugged him harder, feeling the arms going around him too. Hearing the sobs of the biggest child he ever encountered.

"But I like Lan Zhan. Is this wrong?" He spoke in-between sobs. Voice cracking, falling.

"No. Many people will say that it is. That being with someone of the same sex is wrong or weird, but it isn't. You are free to love whoever you want to"

"But not you? Don't you love me?"

"Mn. I do. I always had"

"Then... Why isn't it okay for me to love you?"

What could he respond to those words? Lan Wangji thought deeply, finding no answer good enough. He was lost. Yes, he wanted the other to feel the same. But, he couldn't shake away the feeling of wrongness in doing so. If he allowed his. Desire to take shape now, who could say the other won't regret? But even if he understood fully what was happening, wouldn't he be capable of falling out of love anyway? By being at his side, by showing Wuxian what love truly is, isn't he helping the boy? Or is it his desire to ravish him blurring his mind? He was just... Confused. His mind and body telling him two different ways to go about this moment.

"Is not wrong" he finally answered. "It's not wrong to love, Wei Ying. Is just... The last few years of your life .. they weren't normal. This doesn't mean that something is wrong with you. Only that you need time to adjust to the world again. Time to understand it, and be capable of making your own choices. You don't need to rush it"

"But is only you"

"What?"

"It's only you that makes me hard"

"WHAT?" He pushed the boy by his shoulders. "But you said.. he did... You had sex before, right?"

"Yes, I did. But watching it was disgusting. And doing it... Urgh. I don't know how to explain it. It only feels good after some time, and when I put it in... It needed a lot, Like A LOT of rubbing to make me hard. But you... Just thinking of you doing it..." He had his cheeks red again, covering his lower half with his shirt "it goes up. And my whole twitch wanting you inside of it"

It was a direct hit to Wangji's groins. He pulled Wuxian back to his arms, touching his lips softly. And then.. he was genuinely confused. He opened his eyes to see a bet-red Wuxian rubbing his lips, pushing him back with one hand on his chest. "Wh-what was that?" The boy's eyes were huge from surprise.

"Y-" Lan Wangji barely understood what was happening "a kiss? Have you ever kissed before?" The blush on Wuxian's face intensified without comprehending why. He shook his head denying it. "Can I?" Wangji waited for his nod. Getting closer, one hand at his waist, other under his chin, lifting his head. He placed another soft kiss on the plumb lips. "This is a child kiss" parting the lips with his thumb "and this is a proper, lovers kiss" he deepened the kiss, playing with Wuxian's tongue.

Wei Wuxian felt his knees go weak as Lan Wangji kissed him. It was another new experience he was having with this man. His whole body reacted, even more, when he felt the huge bulge rub against his own, pleasure ran through his body. Left him ecstatic to see the other desire over him.


	24. Chapter 24

He didn't understand most of the words Wangji normally spoke to him. But he did comprehend what he was trying to say now. But it wasn't rushed. This, them. It didn't feel rushed or wrong. And this kiss proved it. His legs finally gave out, and if not for the pair of arms around him he would be facing the floor.

They were both out of breath, gasping into each other's skin. "Breath through your nose" Wangji spoke restarting the kiss, leaning the boy against the counter, it was stronger now. Feverish. Little by little, Wuxian was able to reciprocate what had been done to him. Feeling a new wave of pleasure wash over his body. Wangji pulled him up, sitting on the counter his hands reached again to the belt he was pulling before. This time he wasn't stopped.

Wuxian opened the jeans, warm under his fingers as he pressed a light pressure over the shaft, receiving moans in return. He explored his limits, feeling Lan Wangji's hands doing the same to him. His throat scratched when the purr came out, muffled by the other lips. And when the finger surrounded his hard hot member, pushing the skin up and down, he needed to break the kiss to take air in. "Harder" Lan Wangji voice resounded beside his ear, lips making its way on his skin until his neck. He felt Wangji head resting on his shoulder while he regained control of his breathing, once again going back to this magical thing called kissing

He felt his body being pulled to the front, his pants going down further, fingers exploring his entrance. One pause to wet then, and back to kiss. He moaned again, loudly when the finger was out inside, again when the second made his way, as if Wangji had the manual to his body, it took him almost no time to find the sweet spot inside of him. Their release didn't take long. And Wuxian was sure that this light touches felt more amazing than any sex he ever had before.

"You need a bath" Wangji spoke after a moment, seeing the mess he had made. He kissed Wuxian's forehead, taking him by the waist into his arms, and carrying him to the bathroom. Wuxian didn't complain, since he was sure, his legs wouldn't be able to hold up the weight of his body.

It was Lan Wangji who took the job to strip him. Caressing and kissing every mark on the other back, arms, chest. He reached to the small bumps of his nipples, touching lightly one, as his mouth embraced the other. Wuxian moans echoed on the closed walls, sounding louder. He tried to suppress it, putting a hand over his mouth. "let me hear you" Wangji ordered, taking away the hand and placing a small kiss in place, before going back to his previous position.

"Are we doing it here now?" Wuxian asked between breaths.

"No" Lan Wangji stood up, kissing his forehead again before moving to turn on the water.

"Why not?" Wuxian was left hiding the place of the kiss with his hands, as if he could, doing that, keep the feeling of lips safe.

"It is too soon"

"But the kitchen was okay?" He saw the red spread from Wangji ears.

"It wasn't. I am sorry, for I could not contain my thirsty. Come" he extended a hand to invite Wuxian.

"You can do me, you know? I want you to"

"Every relationship has its steps. For now, let's just stop being friends"

"Not friends?"

"No. More than that"

"Like best friends? But we already are"

"More..."

Wuxian thought for a bit, "like mama and papa?"

"Yes" Wangji smiled to his big kid "like your mama and papa"

"Oh... I like that. Then Sizhui can be our kid. And we are a family. And nobody can ever take us away from you" he smiled, pressing his fingertips together, feeling Wangji hand back to his waist.

"Is this what you want? To never be apart from us?"

"Mn!" He nodded fast.

"Then shall we be. I will do everything that I can to grant your wish"

"You will?" Wuxian out his arms around Wangji neck, pulling the other down to his embrace

"Mn. Everything to my Wei Ying"

"Then fuck me, Lan Zhan" he got closer to the other mouth, whispering into his lips.

"The time will come for that"

"Kiss me, then" the bath was longer and steamer than planned.


	25. Chapter 25

"I still don't understand why not" Wuxian pouted, arm crossed on top of the bed. He looked to the side, facing Wangji who was right next to him

"A healthy relationship has its steps. First, you acknowledged both side feelings. Then, Hold hands. Kisses. And light touches. And only when both sides is sure of their love sex can be applied" he was trying again to make Wuxian understand the steps of a normal relationship.

"But we already did all the rest! And you said yourself that people do it! And that it wasn't wrong!"

"But you only came back a few days ago. You know nothing about the world. And I don't want to rush you in this"

"You speak like you don't want to do it"

"Nonsense. There is no way I wouldn't react to you"

"But you won't do me"

"Be patient"

Wuxian got angry, getting up when he heard the sound of the front door is open. "You speak like it's not okay to me to want this" his eyes filled with tears "fine! If I feel the urge I will just ask somebody else to fuck me at your place! Since is okay to do it with some I don't love, but it isn't with some I do!" He slammed close the room door, ignoring the screams of Lan Wangji running behind him.

"Is there something wrong, child Wei?" Xichen spoke just in time to feel Wuxian threw himself in him.

"No! It isn't." He let out a son, ignoring the presence of Mingjue, burying his face in Xichen's chest.

"What's wrong?" Mingjue asked looking at Wangji before he could take Xichen place as Wuxian holder so the older Lan could chat freely.

"Wangji?" Xichen was worried by the frightened look on his brother's face, reaching to him.

"Brother, please help me" Lan Zhan was scared to death of Wuxian's reactions, glaring at Mingjue who patted his head, stopping when he felt the other's eyes on him, hands in the air.

"He told me it wasn't okay to have sex cuz he loved me" Wuxian started, not letting Mingjue go "but said that there are people who do it with someone they don't love. Why is it not okay if I love him?" He begged with his eyes.

"Maybe I should come back another time" Mingjue tried to set himself free, looking back at the pleading eyes of Wuxian, giving up to his pout. "Or not"

"A-Xian... Every relationship has its steps"

"Not this! No!" He pushed his face deeper on the huge man's chest.

"I already told him that"

"It seems he didn't like it very much"

"Not in the least."

"I just don't understand why kissing, and rubbing each other is okay but sex not. You even put your fingers inside of me!"

"Wangji!"

"Well, you did do too much"

"But it is too soon"

"Fuck this. Fuck you. For teen years, teen years I missed you. I did and was done by people I don't care about. But you... You could just say so if you don't want me." He cried " is... Is it because I am dirty? Because I am dumb? Ugly? Why? Am I not enough"

"No!" Wangji rushed to hug him. "No, no, no!" Burying his face on his neck. "Wei Ying isn't dirty, or dumb. You are beautiful! And amazing! And strong! Wei Ying is perfect as you are! I... Am scared. What if we do it you will seek me only when you need it. That you will find someone you love and see me as a mistake, that you will regret it in the future. I... I don't want to cause you any bad memories."

"You don't trust me? Didn't I tell you that we would be like papa and mama? Papa and mama died together! Loving each other until the end. This is what I want to do with you. Isn't it the same kind of love? Am I wrong again? I want you to be with me. Grow old with me. If... If this isn't loving, please tell me what it is. I am stupid, and may not understand, and you may need to tell me with different words. Cuz I don't know how to speak like the people at your uni, but I can learn. If you teach me. So, please... Don't say I don't love you. Cuz I will never regret choosing you"


	26. Chapter 26

"Did he fell asleep?" Xichen asked seeing Wangji come down the stairs. Since the 'scene' they created earlier, both boys moved to the room, to end the discussion, or better, let Wuxian cry in private. Mingjue have long gone back to the hospital, he took the job to keep the brothers updated about everything first hand. But Xichen knew he was just e joying the attention.

"Mn. He was tired of crying."

"I am sure he will understand, you are doing right" 

"Brother... Can I ask you something?"

"For sure. You can say anything to me, Wangji" he offered a cup of warm milk and an inviting gentle smile.

"What can I do to not be so horny? When he says things like that... I just want to jump him and fuck him so hard he will be unable to move for days" his face was stoic as always, looking directly to his brother's eyes making Xichen choke on his tea.

"I... Don't know"

"Do you never felt horny in inappropriate situations? You do work beside Ming-ge all day"

"Wangji! What are you insinuating?" He was dumbfounded by the youngster's words.

"You don't need to hide it from me. I always knew you two had some kind of relationship"

"Is... Not like that between us. Me and Ming... We..." He let a tired sigh out. How could he explain to his just-realized not-so-pure brother the concept of sex friends? 

"You fuck, but don't date"

"Lan Wangji! Where did you learn that?" He chokes again.

"I am a friend of Huaisang. I don't know why you are so surprised"

"Yes! Right! That little gremlin!"

"You should not badmouth your brother-in-law"

"He is not..." He sighed again. "Me and Ming, we decided to not take things so seriously, since if people knew, we could not be together. And yes, we do feel horny sometimes, but when we are at work we face dead bodies and blood wounds all day. There is no mood there. But... I think you should just think about another thing? Not on Wuxian. Maybe maths, or uncle"

"Mn. Uncle would surely be a turn off"

"I should really have a talk with Huaisang" the time, his sigh came with a laugh.


	27. Chapter 27

When Lan Wangji woke up the next morning, he was surprised to see a message on his phone. It was from Mo Xuanyu, they had been friends since the boy came into his life, at first he was forced by his uncle to treat normally the son of his work partners, but it ended becoming natural to both sides by the constant presence of the other.

The message asked for a meeting, a chance to talk and explain things. Wangji felt conflicted, looking at the sleeping body on his arms. He wanted to say no, knowing it could cause pain for Wuxian, but wished to at least hear the excuses his friend would give him. He texted quickly, leaving his phone when Wuxian hummed to wake up. "Good morning" he waited for the other smile, a thing he did every time he heard Wangji voice, before placing a kiss on his head 

"Mormin" he opened his eyes seeing a bruise on Wangji's arm. "Did I hurt you again?"

"Not so much this night" it was natural that Wuxian would have occasional nightmares, but there wasn't one night he would not, since he came into this house.

"Maybe I should accept the drugs?" He kissed the bruise lightly touching it with his fingerprints

"This is nothing. Don't worry. Take them only if you want it. I don't mind hugging you until you stop struggling"

"You speak as if you enjoy it"

"Mn. It's a good excuse to hug you all night" the kiss was now on the lips. "Come, let's make breakfast" Wangji waited until they were feed to speak again. "Do you have a problem if I go out today? I can ask Lou and Sang to come to be with you"

"Oh, no! Is not a problem. I will enjoy talking with them. Is there a problem you need to care for?"

"No. Just a small detail. Nothing much."

"Mn. Then go" Wuxian gave him a smile seeing him type on his phone. He wanted to ask more about it, curious to know but took Wangji light description as him not wanting to share.

Lan Wangji was out as soon as the others arrived. He made sure they had all they would need to stay comfortable, before kissing Wuxian goodbye and leaving the house.

It was not long until Huaisang smiled mischievously with a plan on his mind "let's follow him"

"We can't" Wuxian said fast

"Aren't you curious about where he is going? He didn't tell us anything and kept changing the subject when we asked" it was Lou Qingyang who spoke this time she too, was curious.

"Come on, it will be fun" Sang pushed Wuxian out of the house, pointing his car as he gave him his jacket. It was a quick trip, filled with anxiety for one, and fun to the other two. They used to do it all the time in the past.

They followed from afar as Wangji walked slowly checking his watch a few times. He reached the university park, sitting on a double bench. Only when he has comfortably seated they put hats and sunglasses as a disguise and took a sit on the bench at his back, not saying a word.


	28. Chapter 28

It was a shock to all when the person Wangji was meeting arrived, and they felt bad to bring Wuxian with them. But the way his eyes changed made them unable to move.

"Sorry to drag you here. I know you must not wish to see me now"

"Mn. Your lies caused a lot of pain. I only came to understand why"

"Why?... Yes, why... You see... I talked a lot with him when he was in that room. I was there for quite some time too. It was... Terrible. I know I did something horrible... And I lived with this guilty all those years but... It was my chance to get out of there"

"You could have told us when you got out. Wei Ying wasn't the only one to suffer. You stole more than just his freedom"

"I know! I know!" Momo cried saying it "I know it was wrong! He kept saying how he would hurt me, and my brothers, if I said something. I was scared"

"Anyway..."

"No, Wangji, please, understand me. I was scared to go back. They took me in, for the first time I knew what love from a family was. How it was to have people care for me. To have friends, live freely"

"At what cost? How many lives? Was it okay on your mind? To make them suffer so you could be free?"

"No!" Momo screamed holding Wangji arm "but here, I had so much. Cheng, Yanli, a mother and a father. You and the others. If I said something I would be taken away. I didn't want to lose it"

"That is not fear. Is selfishness" he got up to leave, shaking away the arm that was holding him.

"Lan Zhan!" Wangji turned around to his name, seeing this "Wuxian" hug him tight. "I love you! Please, understand it! I didn't want you to hate me! Please" his tears falling from his eyes "I didn't want you to leave me behind. If I had told you..."

"Momo..."

"You would have left me, right? It has been years now! Five! For five years I lived guilty for loving you, for taking his life. But why... Why is it okay for him to have it all, but it isn't for me?"

"I..." Wangji was about to say 'i don't know' when his eyes met a tearful glare around the bench. It was Wuxian staring directly at him, hugging a crying man in his arms "Wei Ying"

The name made Xuanyu turn around in one move, eyes opened wide to see the man which life he destroyed right in front of him again. He hides behind Lan Wangji, holding his arm for protection waiting for a reprimand, hearing names, or even be beaten, but all Wuxian did was look at both of them, turn around and leave.

"Wei Ying" Wangji called trying to move. Being stopped by Xuanyu holding his arm. "Please don't go! I love you! Please, stay with me! I beg you!" It cut his heart to see his friend cry, unable to move, to know what to do, he saw Wuxian walk away.

When he got home, the three stalkers were in the living room, Qingyang and Huaisang trying desperately to stop Wuxian tears. "It was a bad plan" and "we are sorry" being spoken by both alternately.

Wuxian flinched when he heard the door close. Again when he felt Wangji touch the knees he was holding. "Wei Ying..." He spoke gently, but the sobs only increased. "Wei Ying, look at me" he watched Wuxian jump to his arms, hugging him tightly.

"Please, please don't choose him. Please don't leave me" he kept crying his heart out, begging over and over to not be left. It was only when he cried himself to sleep that the others dared to speak. 

"We're sorry. We thought you would do him a surprise. We didn't know he was going to be there" Qingyang pleaded forgiveness the best she could. 

"Wangji, we are truly sorry" they were both crying with the boy.

"It's not your fault. I should have said something"

"I didn't know he would react like this. This is... Strong. Too strong"

"Dependency" Wangji spoke to her, hearing the door open again. "Brother, you arrived early"

Xichen was surprised to see them all crying. "Did something happened?"

"Mn." He took Wuxian in his arms "let me put him on the bed and we can talk. You both, stay" he glared at them before leaving the room. It was enough time for them to explain to Xichen what had happened. 

"Wangji, are you sure?" He asked hearing his brother's theory.

"Mn. I read about it. Ming-ge has spoken about the stockolmish feeling he had about his current state of mind. It can be transferred to those close to him after he leaves his imprisonment. In this case, I am sure it was to me"

"What should we do now?" Lou asked hugging sang on the couch. 

"I will talk with his psychologist. And  
.." he looked at Wangji.

"Mn. I know. It will be for the best if I am not around" he felt his heart hurt to the thought of Wuxian needing him and he is alone. But it was something he must do for the other to heal. "I will go back to Uncle house"

"Wangji... That place..."

"Is for the best, brother. This is what Wei Ying needs now"

"But your Uncle is horrible! The way he treats you..." Lou stopped speaking remembering all the beats the boy received in the past for every stupid rule he broke.

"You still have scars! You can't go there! Stay with us! We can find a place for you"

"I don't wish to disturb"

"It won't be a problem at all"

They spoke freely, unaware of Wuxian hearing the talk behind the wall on top of stairs. Waking to an empty bed, he had long been awake, seeking companion. His eyes still full of tears, he gulped hearing all that was said, knowing exactly what he needed to do


	29. Chapter 29

His plan was put into practice as soon as he reached the hospital. He asked to speak alone with his doctor, asking if he could be there until Sizhui was ready to go. "There is a free bed in his room. I can just stay there. Or share it with Sizhui if somebody needs it."

"Did something happened? Things seemed okay yesterday" the doctor was worried seeing his anxious state.

"Mn. It seems I overcome my stay. I... I will seek for a job while I am here. I won't disturb you or anyone else. I just... Need to get out of there. Please." His watery eyes reached the doctor's heart. "I will take all the meds you tell me too, but please, let me stay"

"Until he is discharged..."

"Mn. It's enough time. Thank you" when he came back to the room, Wangji and Xichen were playing with Sizhui. Keeping the boy busy in his father's absence. He breathed deeply before saying anything. Taking a moment to enjoy the view. "I... Have something to say" he waited for them to look at him. "The doctor gave me permission to stay here until Sizhui can leave. I just need you to bring our clothes. I will find a job in the meantime, so when he leaves we will be on our own. Thank you very much for all the care" he bowed to show his sincerity.

"What?" Wangji jumped from the bed, he was going to hold his shoulders but stopped when Wuxian gave a step back not looking into his eyes.

"I heard what you said, Lan Wangji" this way of calling made both feel their hearts hurt. "I spoke with the doctor, as I said, we will increase the consults and if needed, out me under medicine. I, am sure of what I feel. But you called it cod... Cood..." He struggled with the big word

"Coodependacy"

"Yes, that. I am really stupid, aren't I? I can't even say it. Nor do I know what it means. But it seems to be bad if you want to go back to a bad place just to be away from me" 

"He is leaving so you can stay" Xichen spoke behind Wangji 

"But I don't want that. I don't want you to be hurt because of me" he finally looked at Wangji, seeing the desperation on his eyes, he turned back his gaze down. "You can stay, we will be on our own, as it should be*

"We-"

"It's done. Thank you for everything" his heart broke " I want to be alone with my son now" he moved slowly, laying on the bed. His arm as a pillow to the boy, smiling happily for only understanding that his dad would be with him.

Xichen moved away, guiding his devasted brother out of the room, the hospital. "What a mess" he spoke when he got home, watching Lan Wangji with no reactions move to the room. That night, he hears his brother cry for the first time in a long period.


	30. Chapter 30

"How things are going?" Xichen asked approaching Mingjue, who was looking thru the window of Sizhui's room, waiting for him. 

"They put him in so many drugs that he is lethargic. He screamed and hurt a few nurses during the night when they tried to hold him down. It's like a late response to the trauma or something like that. Those medical jargons are too much for me" he sighed looking Wuxian stare the nothing on his bed. "And on your end?"

"He mopped around and cried all day since we got home"

"It makes one think if this is really for the best"

"Mn. What else could we do? They are both thickheaded"

"So you think it will end well?"

"Who knows? We can always hope" he pushed open the doors of the room, giving Mingjue a small sad look when he got no reaction from the man inside. "shi, how are you today?"

"Wha's wrong whit dada? He don talk to shi. Am I bad?" 

"Of course not, love. Why do you say it?"

"Cuz is the same"

"The same?"

"He would be like tha on our room too. Callin zhanzhan and cryin. Dadas very strong. But uncle gave him anty bites, like the docta give me. And dada would be like tha" Xichen brushed his hair, patting the boys head while he speaks.

"And you know what uncle did to your father?" He dreaded the answer the moment he saw the boy's reaction.

"He hurt dada. Dada asked me to leave. Go play outside. But Shi was curious."

"Can you tell us what you saw?" He noticed Mingjue sitting on the bed, holding the boy's feet with one hand.

"Mn! Shi saw. Uncle tied dada's arms. But it must habe hurt. Cuz dada screamed a lot when uncle gave him in... Injet... Anty bites!" The boy waved a hand to call the two adults close, whispering "on the butt! But it was huge!"

"Your father struggled?" Mingjue asked from his corner.

"Mn. Dada don like to be touched. Only shi and uncle bunny do it. So dada is happy now. But dada screamed a lot last nigh, it scared shi. So shi got help. But dada stugled to not be touch. And the bad people didn let shi get close" the boy crossed his arms pouting "and they gave dada a lot of bites! He kept askin for zhanzhan, but didn find him. And now dada won talk to shi" the pout got bigger when he finish his speech.

"Shi... Who is Zhan Zhan? Was he there with you in the room?" They needed to make sure, even if they knew who is referred to.

" No, silly!" He mimicked the way Wuxian would speak to him "Uncle bunny is dada Zhanzhan. Dada told me abou him"

"Your father talked about him a lot?"

"Mn! Dada would say tha if dada had shi and zhanzhan, dada would be very happy. But zhanzhan didn come. Is tha why dada won talk to shi?" He inquired with his eyes, pleading for an answer. 

"Your father just needs to rest, for now, love. I am sure Wangji will come for you both later"

"Wani?"

"Zhanzhan"

"Oh! Will zhanzhan come for dada now? Shi Don like dada this way"

The two adults exchanged glares before Xichen could reply to the request "not now, love. But soon" they gave a last look at Wuxian before leaving the room 

Only when the door was closed, Xichen felt as he could breathe again. Passing a hand on his hair, it felt as if things got more complicated by the second on this case. 

"It didn't look as codependency to me" Mingjue leaned on the wall beside Xichen.

"Mn. It's complicated to this point" he turned around to look inside the room. "This kid... He holds his hopes on the first person he met. I remember it, you know. The day of their encounter. Wangji never had done something like that. And when they met again, Wuxian was so happy to be able to reconnect, and so was Wangji. They would never leave each other side if they could. But now... It feels like..."

"Like it's complicated?"

"Mn. I know wangji is right. Not wanting to rush things. And I understand his fears. But..."

"But Wuxian needs him"

"Yes. But what makes him need him, is exactly the same that makes Wangji stay away. He doesn't want to take away Wuxian's right to chose. His freedom to live. But this just hurts both of them"

"What would you do in their place?"  
.  
"I don't know. If I was Wuxian I would want you by my side all the time. But if I was Wangji, I would fear the day you would leave me" 

"Xi..." Mingjue didn't know what to say to that. They had long talks about themselves on multiples occasions, and until now, none was sure as to why they were apart, since they only had each other, and this job. 

"Forget it. Let's give them time. We can see if the brother ever heard Wuxian speak of Wangji in their imprisonment. If he had, it's proof it wasn't a transfer. And maybe we can make Wangji change his mind. Since it will show that Wuxian sought him from the beginning."

"And if not?"

"If not... We can wait until his treatment end, and see what they will do about it."

"Do you think we are doing too much?"

"He is my baby brother, Ming. If I need to resurrect that bastard to make him happy I would"


	31. Chapter 31

They walked inside the room to meet the brothers hugging above the bed. They were afraid of the world, so different from what they were used to. The small man had both arms around the Pettit girl, caressing her hair as he spoke inaudible words. She looked distressed, clearly just out of a crying fit, eyes still red and cheeks wet.

"Are we really wrong?" The officer could hear from the almost closed door the broken voice coming from her.

"No, we aren't. We love each other. That is all" the boy gave her a kiss on the forehead. And another on her lips. It was a normal behavior for them, but saw as a monstruosities by society. It hit Xichen hard, listening to the loud swallow of his partner, the way these two were raised... And all the things they were forced to do so far.

He cleared his throat to announce his arrival, opening the door slowly, being received by a small jump from both of them. "I see you are feeling better enough to move" his face hurt to fake the polite smile.

"Yes, we are" the boy spoke looking between them both, eyes resting on Mingjue face.

"What happened now?" The buff officer asked coming closer to them. He noticed the way the girl pushed her body away the moment he was in view of sight.

"Nothing. What could possibly be wrong here?" The boy mimicked Xichen's smile, trying to please their saviors.

"Many things" Xichen spoke looking at him. His eyes scanning both. Something on the boy really ticked him off. But he never could grasp what.

"Indeed it can" the boy kept his smile as he spoke to them "they told us we could leave. But we have no place to go. Or the knowledge to do so"

"I see" Mingjue nodded thinking deeply. "You both can stay with me for now. We can find you a place later" he ignored the shocked eyes on his back. Xichen knew better than to speak right now. They still needed those kids to like them, to open up about their previous life. He kept a mental note to inquire about this to his lover later.

"Oh, we couldn't! We disturbed you enough already" it was the girl who spoke this time. Rushed, making her words sound louder than she wanted.

"Nonsense. It will take at least three weeks until the state finds you a house. You can't start a new life inside of a hospital room" he was adamant, almost ordering, and not offering his help.

The young man nodded accepting the offer. "If we can be together this way, we gladly accept it" his smile never faded, even when his hands reached the girl, only to see his caring gesture being turned off by her retrieving her body away. "Just tell us if we can help you in any way. It is our chance to repay for such an offer"

"Actually..." Xichen spoke without delay "we do wish to ask you something"

"Oh, by all means. If it is a piece of information we possess, we would be glad to share it" they found it weird the polite way the boy replied. It was as if he had a fancy background, education that lacked on Wuxian behavior. As if he was taught good manners from birth.

"We need to ask if Wei Wuxian ever spoke anyone's name when he was a captive" Mingjue sentence made both looks between them.

"Mn... Yes" the girl started speaking in a low tone, unsure of the words she used "we didn't have many opportunities to speak, but the little we did, he would mention his family and friends"

"Can you recall any specific names?" They were close to learning what they needed. One more push and it would be all.

"May we ask why? Did he say something about that man? We can confirm or deny his memories if this is what you want. We just need to hear it from you" Guangyao spoke, cutting the girl when she opened her mouth. A clear sign to shut up.

"We just need to see if our suspicions are right about his relationship with a man called Lan Wangji, or like he calls him, Lan Zhan or something along the lines of Zhanzhan" Xichen gut twisted when the boy relaxed his face. It didn't help the thought of how weird he behaved.

"Oh, yes. The handkerchief boy"

"You know about it?" Mingjue straightened his body, coming one step closer to them, his folded arms falling at his sides.

"Yes, he would hold it above his life. Right?" He asked the girl who nodded "Always calling this Zhanzhan name in his sleep or when crying. I think... It got less common after a few years, but he still did that after nightmares or..." He stopped speaking. A dark glow coming to his pale face.

"Or?"

"Or after that man left his room. Between his sobs, it was always that name we could hear: Lan Zhan's, why don't you save me? Why did you forget me? Or Why did you leave me behind?" a cold silence took over the room.

The image of all the pain the boy suffered crossed Xichen's mind. The face Wuxian had when he was around Wangji... And the completely still boy too drugged to react that was now lying in a bed. It was the worst way to confirm his suspicions.

"Thank you. I will come back later for you" Mingjue turned around ready to leave, but he was stopped by the girl's voice.

"Ah, wait. Wuxian... We heard his screams last night. Is he okay? Why is he here?" She seemed genuinely worried.

"He is... Being treated at the moment." Xichen answered after glaring Mingjue. He didn't want to overshare any information that could damage the brother's progress. "He is fine for now. You don't need to worry, Miss. It was only a setback. But the psychologist already took good care of him"

They parted ways, leaving the room. Xichen made sure he was out of eye reach before he let a son out. His heart was filled with sadness for some time, imagining the terrible situations those kids faced on the perverted man's hands. How much straight they must have mustered. He let his tears fall when Mingjue held him close, parting the back of his head.

"Xi is okay. Don't let it get to you" Mingjue too could feel like crying. In his mind, tho, the image of his baby brother passing through the same was a constant.

"How can I not, Min? When we know that bastard took the easy way out of this. If at least I knew he would root in prison... Pay for his crimes... I... I..." He was unable to finish feeling his throat blocked. The arms around him tightening.

"It's okay. We only need to make sure they will get support now. Be able to have a life."

"And you! Why did you offer your house?" He asked, pushing the man away enough to hit his chest.

"You did the same, didn't you?" His look let the other know how much he pitied them. "I..." Mingjue let out a loud sigh taking both of Xichen hands "I heard the nurses speaking the other day... Those two... Despite being half brothers... They never had a chance to learn right or wrong. They grew doing stuff brothers shouldn't... Tell me... Who would take them in? They are adults. Can't be adopted, nor had families to go back to. The government would, on maximum, give them a house to live in and an allowance. But... Who would teach them about the world?"

"They have a professional for that! Rehabilitation! Support!"

"Huan! Listen to yourself! People will say they are monsters! Like the nurses did!"

"But they have nothing to do with you. They are not your responsibility!" He knew he was wrong the moment he closed his mouth, but it was already too late. He hated the way that boy looked at his lover. He hated not being even a proper "lover", or the way he felt so small at this moment.

"And Wuxian is yours? Do you have something to do with him? Are we really in different places now?" Mingjue words were harsh, voice loud grabbing attention from those around them.

"But, if I had heard Wangj-"

"You were a fucking kid, Lan Xichen! We were barely in the academy when it happened! What could you have done? And even if you did something, why does it make him special?" Mingjue was right. And Xichen knew it. But he just couldn't forget the memories that came back after Wuxian appeared again in front of him. The beatings Wangji suffered until he stopped saying that the Wuxian from that time wasn't the real one, his baby brother crying face begging for his friend. It hurt all over again as if a wound was reopened in his heart.

.Xichen knew better, but he couldn't stop the words from coming out of his mouth "this is why they say it's bad to date a partner, uh? Maybe we should have listened to the rules..." And just like that he walked away, getting home to feel even crappier to his brother sobs "Wangji..."  
.


	32. Chapter 32

It wasn't as if Lan Wangji didn't hear his brother's arrival. Nor that he felt he had any reason to be this sad. He just couldn't stop himself from crying all the tears he was forced to hold in all those years. He was still shaken on his bed when he held in a son feeling Xichen sit beside him, one hand caressing his back

"Wangji..." Xichen waited until his brother gave him a form of reaction. "how are you feeling?"

"Gege" the younger turned around to hug Xichen by the waist "I miss him"

"I know my love" his head was killing him "I... Don't think you are wrong. I understand that you wish to give him space to meet new people, create a life for himself. But... What will you do if he gets someone else?" It was an improbable scenery, at least to Xichen, it was impossible to happen, but that idea made Wangji sit in one go, eyes showing how scared he was

"I... I don't want that. I want him. He... What will I do if he meets someone else?" Xichen had to stop his brother from biting his nails, softly taking away the hand Wangji took to his mouth.

"Then, make it so he will love you. Win him over until he is unable to look at someone else"

"But... How?"

"Wangji... You are amazing. Do you know it? You are beautiful, smart, and hard-working. Anyone is lucky to have you by their side. And Wei Wuxian knows it too. Trust him. Trust in yourself. You will find a way" he smiled softly at the younger Lan, seeing the engineer of his mind working. "It will all end well" he wished he could say the same about his own situation.


	33. Chapter 33

For two days Wei Wuxian was heavily sedated. He did nothing more than sleep, or stare at the ceiling hearing his baby kid cry his name, but unable to move one inch. It was on the third day that the drugs lost effect, and he reacted almost normally when woken up by the nurse changing a-yuan medicines.

"wha da izit?" He asked in a drunk manner.

"Good Morning, mister Wei. Today is Wednesday" The nurse tried her best to be gentle, even if she was one of those hurt by the man. "The doctors told me it would do you some good to walk after waking up, to adjust your body. Do you feel hungry? Or thirsty? We can provide you something if you need"

"mm goo" He managed to say "fankyu"

"Not a problem. You can call us if you need anything"

"Mn" He waited for her to leave before getting up. His feets unstable.

Wei Wuxian sauntered around aimless, looking to nowhere in particular. It was all white on his eyes, from the walls to the floor, including people's clothes, the bits of green lost on his tired eyes. He sat in the resting area, a cup of coffee on his hands, getting colder with time. He didn't feel like drinking it. He didn't feel like doing anything.

His sights focused on nothing, catching the glimpse of blurred red coming closer to him. It was a surprise when the gentle voice reached his ears. "Mister, are you okay? Here, for you. I hope things will get better soon" the man looked younger than him for a few years, still caring that kind of baby face only teens have. Not mature, but not childish anymore.

Wei Wuxian flinched to his presence. It's been a long time since someone new talked to him. His life after escape was a bubble. One centered around Lan Wangji. He looked at the boy's eyes. Seeing him try his best to smile at him. Wuxian watched the red rose offered to him. He could not stop his tears from falling.

"Sir?!?" The boy opened his eyes wide, "are you okay?" His worry showed in his tone.

"Y-yea-" Wuxian sobs cut his words. The single rose was a gift 'that man' would give him every birthday. His heart hurt. His head was spinning. He wanted to run away. To scream. But he did nothing. Between tears, he saw the boy leaving the flowers at his side, kneeling to reach Wuxian lowered face, cleaning his tears.

"Don't worry mister. I am sure everything will be okay. Trust me. My shijie always tells me everything happens for the best" his smile grew bigger, comforting the man

Wuxian laughed at those words. "Everything happens for the best..." He laughed so hard he bent holding his hurting belly "how is it for the best to be kidnapped, locked, and raped for years.. and when I finally escaped my family had a new me. My best friend tells me I am crazy for liking him, and I have nothing in this world except a kid to raise God knows how"

His words astonished the boy. He didn't know what to do. "I..." He watched Wuxian laugh for some time, his flowers still in the chair. "I... Don't know what I can say but... My sister is looking for a helper. Maybe she can help you"

"A job?" It was an offer Wuxian couldn't decline.

"Mn. Is a flower shop on the other side of the street. B-but she is the one who owns it. We need to talk to her first" he regretted saying anything. Giving Wuxian hopes he could not make true by himself.

"That's is... GREAT! Are you going there? Can I go with you? Can I meet her?" He was almost desperate.

"Ah... S-sure. I just need to deliver this first" the boy stood up, offering him a hand. "I am Wen Ning"

"Wei Wuxian" he shook his hand. Maybe because the boy looked so young, or so innocent, he didn't felt aversion to his touch


	34. Chapter 34

"Welcome!" The woman spoke at the bell door chimes. She was tall and fancy, giving an aura of power and knowledge. Even with her hands covered with flowers. Wuxian didn't know how to react, being pushed inside when the boy bumped at his back.

"Ah, sorry" Wen Ning spoke while rubbing his nose. "Jie, he is not a customer. He is here for the helper's spot"

"Oh" the woman's smile died on one go.

"I-i'm Wei Wuxian. Nice to meet you" he didn't know what to do. Standing in the door frozen.

"Get'in won't you? You're letting the cold air out" she cleaned her hands in the apron moving out of the balcony. "I'm Wen Qing... You think you can work here?" She raised her brow inquiring him, looking from top to bottom.

"I-i hope so, ma'am" he came inside at her command, answering her as he looked around at all the pretty flowers in the store.

"Why?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why do you want to work here? You don't seem like the type who likes flowers. Do you even know something about them? The best temperature to keep them, or how to make arrangements?"  
.  
"N-No... Nothing of those, ma'am" he looked down at her words. He couldn't even comprehend what she was asking.

"Then you aren't good enough. If you aren't buying anything, go away. You're wasting our time"

"Jie!"

"It's okay. She is right." Wuxian gave the boy a sad smile before bending to him. "Thank you for trying to help" he turned around to leave.

"Jie! He is a good person!" The boy insisted once more.

"We can't Ning. If we accept every stray dog, we won't be able to pay the bills!"

"But, Jie! He really needs it! His story is so sad!" He pouted.

From the glass door, she could still see Wuxian back. Standing in front of the store, as if he had no place to go, he looked at the hospital without a move. "We can't help everyone. And we all have sad stories" she turned back, heart hurting for leaving the man hopeless

"But he's really sad. He was kidnapped, and then released, but his family had another kid in his place. And now he has nowhere to go and a kid to raise on his own"

"What?" She asked with wide eyes. "He is the one from the news?"

"What news?" He asked, but she was already out of the doors.


	35. Chapter 35

"You" Wen Qing pulled Wuxian by the shoulder. "You are the boy from tv?"

"What?"

"The one from the news, are you him?"

"Ah... Yes, ma'am" ever since coming back, he kept seeing his old picture on the tv. Lan Xichen fought many journalists just for him to be able to walk freely. And made sure he would not be recognized, forbidding by law any one to take a recent picture of the boy. But even so, the drama had spread like fire, and “the” Wuxian name was in all journals and magazines for weeks now.

"Get inside" she spoke going back"

"What?"

"Get the fuck inside. And drop the ma'am" she held the door open to the astonished man. "So? Don't you want that job?"

"Yes!" It was almost a scream, but he followed closer as she moved back to the counter. Only when she was at her original position, he got brave enough to ask the scary lady "mn... Ma-... Erm... Miss Wen, may I ask you why did you change your mind?"

"Are you always this polite?"

"I was told to be"

"Good. The costumers will like it" she moved around fixing some flowers.

"Erm... Miss... My question"

"Call me Qing, not ma'am, not Miss. And about your question... Let's say that if you are really him, we have a debt to pay"

"A debt?" Wuxian looked between the brother's. She was a beauty, tall older woman. And the boy, a shy smiling youngster. None resembled anyone he had ever seen before in his childhood. "Did we met before?"

"Of course you won't remember" she smiled at him, leaving the flowers down. "A few years ago, me and my brother were walking home. He got behind before I noticed. And I only realized when I listened to a boy screaming for him to run away" she glared at her brother sweetly before staring back at Wei Wuxian. "I told it to my parents when we got home. And they told us a story about a boy being taken away in the same spot... I could never forget it. The desperation in the boy's eyes. It got stuck with me, and I remembered seeing the news... If you are who you say, you may have saved my Ning from a cruel life. And for this, we have a huge debt with you." She bends down to express the sincerity of her words.

"I told you, everything happens for the better. You have a job now" the boy smiled brightly at Wuxian, who still didn't understand what was happening in front of him.

"I... Have a job?"

"Yes. But if you slack of, I will hit you. You will receive the same treatment as Ning"

"B-but... I don't know anything"

"You can read?"

"Yes"

"I can teach you during the day, and you can read the books we have at home."

"Yes, I can help you" the boy beamed with joy.

"Ah... Yes... Home" Wuxian swallowed deep. Home... did I even have a home? He thought to himself, letting it show on his face.

"You... you do have a home, right?" Wen Qing asked. She didn't need to as the man got pale to the simple mention of the word. She saw him shake his head, looking at the hands placed on the counter

"We... Me and my son, I mean... We are living at the hospital at the moment. The doctor agreed to delay his leave until I found a job and a place for us... Ah, but it won't be a problem for long! As soon as my identity is confirmed, I can apply for documentation and for government assistance!"

"Right..." She gulped "your identity was stolen"

"Mn. But it's okay. He can have it... The name, the family... He can have Wei Wuxian... Everything. I know who I am. I am Wei Ying. And he can't steal this. Nor my son. So it's okay" he had been saying this over and over to himself. But it wasn't okay. It wasn't fair. This whole mess wasn't fair

"You can stay with us!" Wen Ning spoke out of nowhere, his voice carrying a funny tone.

"Ning!"

"What? You liked him too, right Jie?" He knew she did, or would never bring the boy back.

"We don't know him. He could be a psycho!"

"But he isn't! Are you?" The boy looked at Wuxian, with a face almost screaming "tell her"

"N-No! I am not!"

"Oh, dear lord! What am I going to do with you?" She glared at her brother. Qing was never good at denying his wishes. "Fine! You can move on when your son is released. But we only have a couch for you both. And I will be taking the rent from your paycheck!"

"Y-you will accept a-yuan too?" He couldn't believe her. It seemed so dream-like to be true.

"Who are we to separate a family? I may be a brute, but I do have a heart" she crossed her arms around her chest "but this only applies if, and only IF you work hard this week!"

"YES!" Wuxian screamed jumping of joy "I will, I will! Thank you so much" he rushed to the door after this.

"Hey, where are you going?" Qing asked when his hand touched the door

"I need to tell a-yuan!"

She could not stop him after this. Smiling, she saw him approaching the street, moving anxiously until the cars stopped. Jumping when one almost hit him, making both brothers flinch in the store. "He didn't even start... And is already giving me a headache"


	36. Chapter 36

"He did what?" Lan Wangji asked in a loud tone. It was as if his brother was speaking in a different dialect. For the whole week he mopped around, gathering courage to face Wuxian once again. But now, it seemed too late.

"He found a job and is moving out of the hospital with Sizhui" Xichen spoke as he grabbed all of Wuxian's belongings. He only allowed this after he met the Wen's brother's and made a complete background check on both of them.

"Where? Who in the right mind would give him a job? He doesn't know how to do anything!"

"Wangji..." Xichen released a tired sigh. He was still 'fighting' Mingjue, after he took in Jin Guangyao and QinSu "Do you really think Wei Wuxian is stupid to the point he would never find a job?"

"N-No! I-i..." Wangji didn't know how to end his sentence

"Or is it that YOU wanted to help him on that?" Xichen watched his brother silence, only his ears going red, he chuckled to the scene "And how would you do it if you refuse to see him?"

"I... Just don't know how" Wangji sits on the bed. He took the stuffed bunny on his hands, the one Wuxian would use to sleep. It didn't smell like the boy anymore. "What if he is angry? If he sends me away?"

"Will you stop if he does it?" Xichen patted his brother's hair "will your heart accept it without a fight?"

"No! Never!"

"Then go see him. Tell this to him. Tell everything. Until he understands."

"But... Where? Won't Gege tell me where he is?" Wangji gave him the most uncharacteristic puppy eyes he could utter trying to break his brother's defences.

"Fine!" Xichen passed Wuxian bag to Wangji "Take this with you when you go"


	37. Chapter 37

Lan Wangji waited anxiously for the day to rise. When he learned about Wuxian's new house, it was the middle of the night and even if he wanted to rush for the boy, it was uncalled for. He was now in front of the hospital, waiting to cross the street. Eyes locked at the flower shop a few meters in front of him.

It was a small place, with beautiful flowers all over it. "As beautiful as his Wei Ying is" crossed his mind, rushing his heart when the same boy he was thinking about came out of the door, a big sign in hands, laughing at the small kid believing he was holding it alone.

Sizhui was the first to notice his approach. Opening his arms all he could and jumping to his embrace as Wangji kneeled to catch him mid air "uncle bunny" the boy laughed snuggling to his neck.

"How have you been, Shizhui?" Lan Wangji didn't look at the boy when he asked. His eyes still stuck to the shocked man in front of him.

"Shi is fiiiine! Shi missed you! Papa did too"

"He did?" Wangji released the boy who pulled him by hand to greet his father. "Wei Ying"

"Lan Wangji. What are you doing here" Wuxian spoke as cold as he could. Still hurt by the man's actions.

"I came to deliver this" he passed the bag to Wuxian hands

"Good, you already did it. You can go now" he called his son, moving to the doors

"Wei Ying!" Wangji called him with all he had. Hands shaking. It was such a brief encounter, but it was enough to make his heart almost jump from his throat.

"What?" He felt the same way about this meeting.

"Can we talk?"

"About what? You spoke everything you wanted already. Go play house with your Wuxian for all that I care" he got inside the shop, feeling Wangji following him.

"He is not mine. And will never be. The only one I care about is Wei Ying"

"Not shi?" The kid pouted understanding only a little bits of the conversation.

"And Shizui too, of course" the boy giggled in his father's arms, hiding his face on Wuxian's neck. "Please..."

"Is everything okay?" Qing asked behind the counter. She was giving flowers to the nurse who agreed on sneaking the boy out of the hospital so he could meet his father new place

"Wei Ying..." Wangji begged once again.

"It's... It's okay, Qing. Should it be alright if I had a chat with him for a moment?" She stared at Wangji the same way she did the first time she met Wuxian. From top to bottom, seeing as he looked nowhere else apart from the weird boy she agreed to hire.

"Go upstairs. Call Ning if you need anything. He is in the back"

"It's okay. Lan Wangji isn't a bad person" he could read her expression of worry. He was there for two days now. Working as long as he could, chatting when she was satisfied with her lessons. Answering all her questions about his life, without complaints. The man was an open book, so interesting she could not let down.

Wuxian hugged his son before getting upstairs. He promised to visit at night time. Receiving many kisses and hugs. He waited for Qing to open, very reluctantly the counter so they could walk through it. Seeing Wangji analyze every small corner of the two rooms place. "Where do you sleep?"

"On the couch. It's foldable. Yuan liked it a lot, cuz we never saw one before"

Wangji got close to the furniture, touching it to test it's comfort. "it's hard. Doesn't it hurt to sleep?"

"I'm a beggar. Always have been. I can't choose what is given to me" Wuxian moved to the kitchen, as if he owns the place, he took two glasses and filled it with juice. "This is all I can offer. Speak, and leave"

Wangji felt thirsty. But not for the orange liquid placed in his hands. "Wei Ying... Do you like it here?"

"Is this what you wanted to talk about?" He asked with a curious expression.

"No..." He felt a lump on his throat "I... Am afraid of losing you" but spoke out of fear.

Wuxian chuckled at his words, it was amazing wasant it? That fear of losing him Wangji had put him out of his life. "I have a son. No education. No money. Who would even want me? With all the baggage I carry?"

"I do" it felt good to say those words.

"No you don't. If this is all, leave" Wuxian turned his back at the man. Wouldn't it be amazing if it was true? He flinched feeling the strong arms getting a hold of his waist, hugging him from behind. Head placed on his shoulder.

"I do. I want you so much that I understand why that trash locked you. I want you so bad I hate to see you smile at others. I want to lock you in and make a mess out of you. So much I want to make you unable to live without me. And I hate it. I hate that I may do it one day. That I would steal your ways to have a normal life"

"But you won't" Wuxian placed his hands over Wangji's.

"I may..."

"You won't. Because you aren't him. Do you know, Wangji, I hate to be touched. But I let you do it. You know why?"

"No"

"This" Wuxian out Wangji hands over his chest "you are the only I ever met who can make me this way"

"You may meet others... If I give you freedom"

"Have you ever thought IF I wanted to?" He let go of Wangji's hands, moving out of his embrace to look at him a few steps back. "You chose what I felt by yourself. You didn't trust me and put words on my mouth. You called it transfer, when I don't even know what this is. All I know is that I felt like this before too. That you were so precious I could do anything for your smile. I waited for you. All those years I was a captive. Even after seeing you smile beside Momo, I waited. Can you imagine how I felt? Thinking you had forgotten me? It hurted so much I even gave myself willing to that man, because he made it hurt so much that I thought it would suppress the pain you gave me."

"Wha-"

"But it didn't. Nothing that I did made me forget you. Your name was the first on my head everyday. When things got too much it was your face that gave me straight to keep going. To stay alive. It was the memory I had of you that made me able to be here now. When we met again, I felt like it was all worthy. All the pain and all the suffering, because I had you... But you dismissed it all." Wuxian could feel his tears form "you made it as if I was crazy for feeling like that. For feeling this way about you. You went to meet Momo behind my back. You let him touch you. Hug you. Love you. When I wasn't allowed to. Can you understand what I am saying?" He asked examining Wangji expressions. "Can you imagine how I feel?"

Lan Wangji couldn't. In his head, Wei Wuxian's presence was absolute. No one could ever replace him. He just couldn't understand how the boy could even imagine it being different. "I can't." He spoke after being silent for a moment, confused, switching the words he heard, furrowing his brows "how can you think someone could take your place?"

"Because he did. He took everything from me. My name, my family, my friends. He stole my place, my freedom. My whole life. Is his. How can I compete with someone you grew with? It has barely made a month since I came back."

"Wei Ying is irreplaceable"

"Funny joke" he chuckled. "I just was"

"Not to me"

"Yeah... And you are important because...?" He spoke without looking at Lan Wangji. He wanted to hurt him as he was. But regardless of the pain in his own heart.

"Because I love you"

"And I should believe in it just with your words, right?" He sighed before Wangji could answer. "no, never mind. I'm tired. You may leave"

"Wei Ying..."

"You were right. You know that? You always are. Your way of loving and mine are different. I was taught that love was something physical. Was belonging to another person completely. Even with my shrink trying to teach me that love is a mindset and not a physical reaction I can't change it. I am horny for you. I want to take you to bed and let you savor me until I beg you to stop. This is love to me. The kind we have for a special someone. The kind my body craves for your touch, and makes me crazy with your presence. Because you do it. When you aren't here I keep thinking about you. Your face, your smile, your touch. How good it must feel to be filled with you. How big you must be. But you were right. This isn't love. I must be just a crazy monkey craving sex, and you were the closest to me. This isn't love. Too bad it was you the victim of my craziness. Maybe I can just find someone to fulfill my desire in another place, and set you free from my crazy dirty mind" he had to bite his lips to stop the burning sensation in his eyes, giving another step back when Wangji tried to reach him "this talk is over. Please leave"

"Wei Ying..."

"Leave"

Wangji didn't know how to reply. He didn't expect to hear all this. He didn't know how to act. Yes, his love was pure, as he had since childhood. He grew thinking this was the right way to love. To put Wei Wuxian Ina pedestal and make everything possible for his happiness and well being. He did feel the urge to ravish the boy, but not as Wuxian felt. It was igual, and so different. And it scared him. He saw the arching back turned to him. The way the other moved slowly, his nape exposed.

Lan Wangji got close again, hugging Wuxian. "If this is what you want. I can give it to you" he kissed the back of his neck, sending goosebumps to Wuxian body. "I will give you everything to make you mine" the next kiss was above the other ear.

"What are you doing, Wangji?"

"Making you mine" he kissed Wuxian cheek. "Will you let me?" His lips, so soft to the touch, so hot. "Open you mouth, Wei Ying"

Before Wuxian could forget all his mixed feelings, he heard the door opening, pushing Wangji away he watched Wen Ning coming inside the small flat. "A-Ning, what's wrong?" The boy had a stained cloth over his hand, red by the flowing blood, and tears on his reddened eyes.

"S-sorry Xian, I cut my hand with the scissors. i-i didn't want to disturb you, but Jie told me to come clean it" he moved quickly to the sink, getting in-between the tho man's.

Wuxian rushed to his side taking his hand to see the damage. "We should take you to the hospital, this is bleeding to much, come on"

"B-but your talk" he looked at Lan Wangji who glared at their connected hands.

"The talk is over, it's okay" Wuxian fought his tears, and the crack of his voice. He wished deep inside his mind to make it transparent all the straight face he wanted to make.

"Wei Ying" Wangji called for the hundredth time. He finally succeeded in getting a hold on the other arm. "this is not over"

"Then leave it for next time. He is more important right now" Wuxian took Wen Ning by the arm, taking him out of the door.

"This is the end" He thought... "This can't be the end" Crossed Wangji's mind. He used all his might to move the feets frozen by the situation. Slowly making his way downstairs, to find Qing waiting for him. The woman was still fierce on her glare. Stopping his way out.

"If you hurt him... Know that I can kill a man with my bare hands" only after saying this she put down her arm, opening space for Wangji to move. She saw him walking to the door, feeling a strong urge to add "let him be for now. If you really want to be with Xian, give him time. And then... Seek him with all you got" when he crossed the door


	38. Chapter 38

Wen Ning's hand turned out to be a problem. Not that Wuxian would find it bad to have extra classes about his new job. But because it needed stitches, Wen Qing forbade the boy to do any work, leaving it in the unsure hands of Wei Wuxian. With all the movement around the shop, and all the planning to bring a-yuan there, he ended up completely unable to think of Lan Wangji.... At least during the day time.

The week ended with no contact between them. But in his dreams, the sweet ones he would have in-between nightmares, Lan Wangji was always present. He filled Wuxian's mind whenever the man would have spare time. Things like "what he is doing now" or "he would have liked that" were more and more present. To the point where Wuxian would even day dream with his voice when he was called by Ning when distracted, Making his heart jump every time. It was a different hell from the one he was used to live in. Being apart taking a tool in both of them.

It was a simple phone call that made it all worse. A request for a buquê that came in the last Friday of Wuxian try out. The red roses with a single card "Wish you are feeling better, know that I love you, and will always be here with you. W." To be delivered to a boy wearing a red cardigan at the canteen of the local University.

"Are you sure you can deliver it?" Qing made sure to ask before allowing the boy to go

"Yup! Ning will come with me, so I can find my way there. I already walked through the uni, so I know the way to the canteen" Wuxian responded smiling brightly to his first real work. He was already getting bored of answering the phone, swooping to the floor and putting the sign in place. The only things he was allowed to do until he proved his acquired knowledge.

"Don't worry, Jie. I will be right by his side" Wen Ning reassured her, one hand on Wuxian head, ruffling his hair. Even if he was younger, he was taller than the man, and would always treat him as a young brother.

"Oh, God. That's what scares me the most..." She let a sigh out, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Okay, okay. We don't have any options. Call me if you get lost or something goes wrong. I am trusting you both with this. Be good, okay?" She waved for them to leave after the nods.

The university was a huge place. But Wuxian could still remember everything Lan Wangji showed him. He took a small detour, getting to the canteen by the outside door. They got in tiptoes to find a boy wearing a red cardigan between the sea of students. "There, I found him" Ning spoke, making sure the boy looked as described in the phone.

They walked, being stared by many curious eyes. Wuxian's heart froze when he got closer to the table. Eyes going blurred in one second. The boy in question was no one else other than his usurpator... And his arms were very much linked to Lan Wangji's.

The sea of petals hit Momo in the face before he could hear the voice "Here, a special delivery for you"

"The fuck" Jiang Cheng screamed by Momo side "what the hell are yu-" he too froze in place seeing who was the delivery man.

"You seem to be having fun. Good for you" Wuxian eyes were fixated on Lan Wangji face.

"Wei Ying, w-" Wangji tried to speak, but was cut half way

"Save it. There is nothing I would like to hear from you. That was a nice way of showing your love" he left the room being followed by Wen Ning.

Lan Wangji stood up, being held back by the arms embracing his own. "Don't go. Stay with me" Momo asked him with teary eyes. It made Wangji heart hurt to see a friend in pain, but it was nothing compared to the way he felt looking Wuxian a few minutes ago.

"Sorry. I told you before. You can never be him" he stood up and left the canteen, finding, a few meters away, Wuxian on Ning arms. He felt crushed at the sight. His heart clenching, his mind going blank.

"Ha! This is what you get for dismissing a friend for a whore" Jiang Cheng had followed him close with Momo at his side. "Bad karma"

"He is not like that" JC's voice was so loud that Wen Ning heard him feets away. He hugged Wuxian closer, defending his new friend from the other's eyes. "Wei Ying isn't a whore. He is a good person"

"A good person leading my friend" Jiang Cheng spitted at his words.

"Yo-" Ning was stopped by Wuxian.

"Let him, Ning." He dared not look at the boy who once was his brother. "His words mean nothing to me" he pushed Wen Ning to move away, cleaning the tears on his face, letting out a small scream when Lan Wangji pulled him to his arms, hiding his crying expression on his chest.

"Wei Ying isn't a whore. He is a sweet man, a good one. Jiang Cheng is wrong. And he owns you an apology" he heard the cut sob coming from his arms

"Bold of you saying this after sending him those flowers. Saying you loved him on the card" Wuxian pushed Wangji away, enough to look at his face.

"What flowers? What card? I would never send anything like this to anyone other than you" his confusion was clear, Making it impossible to doubt.

"Weren't you the one who sent it?" A ray of hope crossed Wuxian mind. Hope to be wrong, to stay have value on the other heart.

"Never. Believe me"

"I-"

"Lan Zhan" Momo called behind them. His voice broken. Eyes begging. But Lan Wangji didn't care about it. All he could think was how long he waited to have Wuxian back on to his arms, pulling the boy away from everyone else

'wei wuxian' sobbed seeing the three of them walk away. He let himself be hugged by Jiang Cheng, and be protected in the arms of the man he grew up seeing as a brother.

"It's okay, Xian, everything will be okay. I am here for you. I will always be here for you. This will never change. You know I love you" he whispered in Xuanyu's ear over and over again, allowing the boy to cry all the tears he had stuck inside his chest.


	39. Chapter 39

Lan Wangji didn't let go of Wuxian until he reached his car, throwing the boy inside and closing the door. He looked at Wen Ning who was following then close just enough to say "I will take him for today. Please apologize for your sister by the inconvenience"

He drove without a word, even when Wuxian kept saying he would jump out of the car if he didn't tell him where they were going. He parked in the front of his house, pulling the confused boy inside. "Lan Wangji, what are we doing here?"

"Lan Zhan"

"what?" Wuxian asked being pinned to the door as soon as it was closed

"You, and only you, may call me Lan Zhan. We are here so I can make you mine, if this is the only way to make you realize how much you mean to me, the only way to make you never let anyone else touch you, then be ready" he plucked their lips together, feeling the fight slowly dissipate on the other actions.

Wuxian melted into the kiss. Hotness spread inside of him "what will you do to me?" He asked with closed eyes.

"Devour you" Wangji pushed him to his lap, walking with wuxian hugging his neck, legs tightly wrapped around his waist. He took no time taking him to the bedroom. Lips together the whole time.

"Are we really gonna do it?" Wuxian asked when he was laid on the bed, feeling Wangji hand go inside his shirt.

"Mn. No wasting time anymore" he kissed Wuxian neck, leaving a red mark visible above his shirt collar, smirking to the proof he was there.

"But you sai-"

"I was wrong" he left another mark on Wuxian's chest after removing his shirt.

"But.. you are never wrong." Wangji stopped to stare at him. Letting a sigh out when he sat at the bed

"I asked my brother what love was. He told me that love can take many shapes. I... Never had done it before. Kiss or sex... Brother said because of it I don't feel yet the strong urge to ravish you. But it's different for you. My beautiful Wei Ying" he brushed a few hair's of Wuxian face "you only saw the cruel side of humanity. And here am I making you do the same thing. I... Wanted to cherish you for as long as you let me. Make you experience all sides of love. This included... But pure love too... The one who made you giggle with my presence. The one who makes you laugh with my voice" he kissed Wuxian's hand when the boy blushed "grew this... Thing... Until you had experienced it all. Until you were sure you wanted this.... Me. I don't want you to regret being with me"

"Are you stupid, Lan Wangji?" Wuxian spoke dumbfounded. "Do you even know how you make me feel?" He looked at Lan Wangji, waiting for a reaction. "Of course my body reacts to you. You are beautiful, hot. But.. is my heart that wants you more. Every little touch you give me burns. Every little word sticks to my mind. You treat me as something precious. And that's what makes me want you more. Not this" Wuxian placed a hand on the half hard member on Wangji pants. "But the way you care for me. The way you smile only when I am close, or Shizui is. The way you took my soon I to your life. The small moments you would just hug me feeling I was sad when anyone else noticed. I want to fuck you because you make me feel loved. Not just because I crave sex. Hell, if you are so against it, we can live a while life without any if this means you will be min-" his words were cut by the pair of lips, quickly being pulled down by Wangji

"I love you so fucking much it hurts" the small drop hit Wuxian face. Cold, against his hot skin, marking the weight of the feeling that was given to him.

"I love you too, my stupid Lan Zhan" he giggled feeling the hot breath at his neck. His laugh was cut by another kiss. This one, not stopping until he was out of air

Lan Wangji got into his knees, taking his shirt out. It was a scene that made Wuxian gulp in anticipation. He looked around the room nonstop.

"What's wrong?"

"Ah... We don't have any"

"Any?" Wangji furrows his brows in confusion "any what?"

"Anything to tie my hands" he had an "duh" look on his face.

"Yo-" Once again Lan Wangji was astonished. He opened and closed his mouth several times unsure of what to say, his eyes as big as it could go. "Did... Did he do it to you Everytime?"

"Is... It wrong too?" His full-of-self smile died with his words. It was, once again, a wrong knowledge. One of the many things they had different.

"Mn. Some people have a kinky for it. But I do prefer if I can embrace you freely, since it will be our first time" his ears went red with the shameful speech.

"O-oh... Okay. Just... What should I do?"

"Lay down. And leave the rest to me" it was his first time. But in wait for this moment Lan Wangji had gathered all the information he could, from dirty books to friends' talks. He knew. What and how to do it. Was just unsure he would be able to please the love of his life. He reached to the nightstand, grabbing a bottle of lube. He poured the gel over his fingers, rubbing it to be warm to the touch, kissing Wuxian in the process.

He was now half naked, on top of the moaning Wuxian. His hands opened space to the soft opening between the man bottom cheeks. Wuxian gasped when the first finger entered. "What are you doing??" He asked surprised, making Wangji even more.

"I'm preparing you"

"But this is dirty!" Wuxian kept a hold on the wrist in the middle of his open legs.

"Wei Ying is not dirty. And besides, I did it before. Don't you remember? In the kitchen..." He didn't. That day Wuxian was so lost in pleasure that he couldn't remember anything apart from the way his whole body melted to the Lan touch.

"You sure?" His eyes were still wide open.

"Mn. Have you never prepared yourself?"

"N-No. He would just... Stuck it in"

Wangji let out a sigh. He knew that his imprisonment wasn't good. But never waited for it to be this bad. "Wei Ying... Sex, with the one you love, must feel good. And not be painful. Trust me. Anything you had with that man... Had no love if he didn't cared for your feelings during the act"

"I trust you, it's just... Weird to have a hand th-" Wangji didn't wait for the end of his sentence. He trusted the second finger seeing the boy moan and bit his lips in a mix of pleasure and surprise. He smiled at what he was doing when Wuxian hugged his neck closer whispering his name in a soft voice.

He kept moving his fingers in and out, remembering where the sweet spot he touched last time was. His fingers moved with expertise, a practice he acquired after many dreams of ravishing this juicy dish. Wangji fingers were soon accompanied by a third, spreading open the already loose hole. In and out, open and closed, he made sure to take his time enjoying every reaction he could take from his lover.

"Please..." Wuxian begged into his ear after some time spent with the foreplay. Exhausted from waiting, he moved his hips inviting the very large member inside.

Lan Wangji got up, taking his pants out, he kissed Wuxian while he put on the condom. Taking another gasp from the boy when he ripped it open with his teeths. "So hot, Lan Zhan" Wei Wuxian spread his legs wide, touching his body while Wangji positioned himself in between the open legs, staring directly to the fingers stretching the skin "come, Lan Zhan, I want you so bad"

Wangji gulped to the scene, never before he had seen something so sexy in his life "Tell me if it hurts" he dived in to kiss Wuxian lips, trusting slowly inside the boy who convulsiones to his laight, head throwback, eyes closed moaning his name.

He lost his mind, moving faster to stick his shaft in one go until the hilt hitted the flash wall. Out of breath, he could feel Wuxian tremble underneath him, hole clenching hard around his member. "Wei Ying?" He furrowed his brows, but the other was unable to speak "Did... Did you just had a dry orgasm?"

Wuxian didn't understand what was happening with him. It seemed like his whole body was crashed by a wave, the hotness taking over his being. He plunked the lips in front of him, moving his body on its own to try and have more of Lan Wangji inside of him. He grunted feeling the other get out, happily accepting the heat back, as Wangji moved his hips.

Fingers dancing on the pale skin, Wuxian moans became louder when Wangji fingers reached his nipples, caressing and squeezing them while he still moved. "Faster" he demanded, lost in an ecstasy he never felt before. A command Wangji made sure to obey, trusting faster, stronger, until both had overcome the barriers created by time. They were one in that moment, melting in the hot liquid released by both.

"Stay" Wuxian wrapped his legs around Wangji hips, making sure he was unable to get out "I like the feeling of having you inside of me" He kissed the red lips in front of his eyes, biting the bottom one playfully.

The grunt of Wangji's throat came accompanied by a twitch on his shaft "you drive me crazy" he spoke, moving once again. They repeated this dance through all night, feeling each other warmth, leaving many marks as proof of finally overcoming the differences they had.


	40. Chapter 40

When Xichen got home that night he was gifted with a war zone. Coats and shoes thrown around the living room, and loud screams of pleasure coming from upstairs. He didn't need to be a genius to understand only by this that his baby brother was no longer a baby, he had followed his advice and made things clear with his lover.

It was a good thing. But Xichen never felt so alone at this moment. Things were still weird with Mingjue, even more after the two brothers moved in and the man wasted all his free time with them, playing house with someone else's family. It was as if there never existed a them. He grabbed a bottle of booze he kept to the days the Nie would sleep in that house, going to the front door, he drank directly from the mouth of the bottle.

His only problem was... Lan Xichen, as his brother and all Lan family... Was terrible with alcohol. Even before he reached the middle of the expensive liquor, his conscience faded, and his hand reached for the cellphone in his pocket. There was only one number on the speed dial he would care to dial in those days were everything seemed so heavy

The phone rang for three times before a sleepy voice answered "mmmnnn.... Xi? Is everything okay? Is quite late for you too call"

"Wheer di I Mez up?" His drunken mind tried to say "whyzu not loves me?" The tears falling as he speaked.

"Xi... Are you drunk?" He could hear Mingjue release a deep breath over the phone. "Dammit. You know you can't hold your liquor. Where are you? Are you safe?"

"Shuuuu, wanyyz gettin laid" he spoke with one finger over his mouth. Smiling when Nie Mingjue chuckled over the phone. "Mizz u laughyn"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Mnnnn. Mimi haz nazymile"

"Oh, Do I? Should I smile more for you?"

"Nooooo" he pouted on the stairs. "Ifb Bi smize for be I won't be abe to wok"

"You already work hard enough... Where are you, Xi?"

"Hobe. Wanny is gettin some" the childish laugh he gave made Mingjue heart fluster. "Shoul be gettin som bu Mimi don love be" he sobbed cleaning his tears.

"What are you talking about now?"

"Can give u kid"

"What?"

"Wanny be dad, sansang too. Cant gibe mi Kidz. Cant gibe Mi nothin. Mi don lobe be"

"Lan Huan, is this what you really think? That I won't love you unless we have kids?"

"Mi neber say it. Mi don lobe be"

"I love you, Huan"

"Mi boice souns so close, hihihi"

"Look up you idiot" the man appearing in front of him sobered up Lan Xichen in one go.

"Wha ar yu doin her?" He tried to get up, not meeting the floor only by the strong arms reaching to him. Mi gjue was out of breath, sweaty, even if they lived close by, he still needed to grab a cab to reach the house faster. That was not a confession he thought was fitting to do over the phone.

"You need a coffee"

"Can, wangy*

"Yeah, we are not going inside. Let your brother get some. God knows he needs it after waiting so long" he pushed Xichen to his car, driving him until they reached a hotel.

"Not home?"

"The kids are there, remember?"

"Right" the kids. The sole problem of his relationship. It was evident by his face how much it bothered him. But he said nothing, following Mingjue inside as the former booked the room and guided him to the door. Only inside, Mingjue spoke again.

"What's wrong with you? What is so bad you got drunk in the middle of the night? You aren't like that" he placed the order for coffee and food on the hotel service, looking directly at Lan Xichen, waiting for his answer. "aren't you going to speak?"

The last bits of alcohol left his system, Xichen's mind was clear, to the point he felt ashamed for the things he said. "It's nothing. I just felt like it"

"You felt like drinking when you never do? Calling me to ask the most absurd question?"

"You never said it. How absurd can this be?"

"For fucks sake, Lan Huan, we sleep together for ten years. How could I not love an adorable man like yourself? Look at you! You are beautiful! Funny, smart, a great cop. A real catch. I should be the one asking why someone so perfect chose me of all people"

"But I can't give you a family"

"I can't give you kids either. Does this make you love me less?"

"NO!"

"Then why should it bother me? We can adopt one, you know? We can have many kids, cats, dogs, whatever you want. I just need you. I just wish to grow old with you" he kneeled in front of Xichen, who was still sitting on the bed he was placed when they arrived, placing a few of his hair behind his red ears.

"Say it again... Please"

Mingjue chuckled to the request. "I love you, Lan Huan. I want you. I need you. I wish to grow older with you by my side" his speech was cut short by the man throwing himself at his arms, lips glued together.

"I love you too. I want to grow older with you"

"You finally said it! Damnit, why do you make everything so hard?" He hugged Xichen tight, feeling the other tremble in his embrace "fuck the rules, Lan Huan. I only need you"

It was a bittersweet moment need to them by the drunken state of Xichen. Otherwise, he would never admit his true wishes. At least... That's what he keeps telling himself.


	41. Chapter 41

Xuanyu threw his bag on the floor before laying on the bed, hugging his pillow. His heart hurted but he had no right to complain. Of course he felt bad for stealing Wei Wuxian life... But what was the option? He barely acknowledged Jiang Cheng standing at the door before sobbing again, feeling his brother's hands caressing his hair.

"Don't be like this, Xian. You still have me" Chen patted the boy's hair, carefully to not hurt him. He wasn't any good with feelings or pet talks, always being the one on the receiving end, but since his brother came back, his Jiang Wuxian, he learned to do it to comfort the boy.

"What am I going to do now?" His face was buried on the pillow case.

"About what?" The boys turned at the same time, eyes meeting the smiley Jiang Yanli standing at the door, one hand on the frame, other busy with a tray of cupcakes and tea. She waved closer, putting the delicacies on the bed, before walking to sit on the other side of the crying boy. "Who hurted my Xian?"

"Jiejie.." Xuanyu cleared a few tears hugging her waist, head in her lap. "Why does it hurt so much to have my heart broken?"

"Oh... How old are you a-Xian, to have troubles with your heart" she smiled caressing his hair.

"I'm too old! So old! Why can't I learn?" He cried harder being comforted by his family. Years of growing made their friendship blossom into pure love, even if at the beginning it was Rocky on the edges, now, it was like he always belonged with them.

"Don't cry, a-Xian... You are going to make Cheng cry!" She laughed seeing the other boy go red

"Yo- I ain't gonna cry!! Is not like that dick deserves our tears, anyway!" He crossed his arms to control his anger

"Who?" The girl tilted her head. She was doing her best to understand the situation without intruding.

"That dick Lan Wangji! And that fucking fake! I swear when I put my hands on him I will make him beg for mercy! I will break his legs!"

"You meet Wuxian?" She looked between them, questioning his words.

"No! This right here is Wei Wuxian! That fucker can be whoever he wants, but he will not change the truth!" Cheng almost jumped from the bed to make sure both others understood his thinking. But Momo only flinched in fear thinking how he would react when he learned who he was. How they all would. A movement that wasn't missed by the girl.

"Are you okay, a-Xian?"

"Y-yes, jie. Just tired" tired from all the lies.

"That's good then. Here, eat,and rest. You will feel much better after a nap". She waited until both had eaten their lunch, looking at all the small differences she found over the years between this Wuxian, and the one in her memories. She stood up, taking the tray to the kitchen. On the countertop a small box waited for her all this time.


	42. Chapter 42

Jiang Yanli gathered all her courage to ring the doorbell. She felt anxious and nervous about what she would do. Her smile faltered when Lan Xichen opened the door rubbing his head. "Oh, miss Jiang. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Ah, I am sorry to bother you. Is this a bad time?"

"Not at all. I'm just having a little headache at the moment" Xichen waited for her speech, patiently watching her movements until she spoke again

"Mn... This may be inconvenient but... Do you think I could see Wuxian?"

"Ah.." Xichen stopped to think for a moment, before opening the door for her to enter "make yourself comfortable. I will ask his opinion first" he walked upstairs leaving her alone in the living room.

The first person who came downstairs was the younger Lan. Face stoic as always. "Miss Jiang" he nodded in greeting.

"Lan Wangji" she mimicked his acts "I already told you to call me Yanli"

"That would be impolite" he moved to the kitchen to grab a cup of water from the sink.

"Mn... Wuxian..." Her eyes followed the path the other came from.

"He is getting decent. Will be here in a moment. Do you care to explain the reason for your visit? If your going to s-"

"Jie..." Wuxian watched the girl from the bottom of the stairs. His shirt clearly didn't belong to him, being a few number bigger than it should. Pants lose, he looked like a kid playing pretend with his big brother clothes. "What are you doing here?" Wuxian asked after taking a slow breath. His Adam's apple moved visibly when he swallowed.

"I made some cupcakes... They made me think of you, so..." She didn't want to say they were just an excuse, but it was obvious for her lack of words, emotion filling her eyes.

"Thank you very much" Wuxian moved closer, getting the box on her hands, opening it to see its contents. "Those are..." His eyes grew big. "Chocolate cupcakes with Brigadeiro cover." his eyes blinked with the pretty colored sprinkles on top. Just like she did in the past.

"Do you remember them?" Her stomach gave a twist. Those... Those were the little things the Jiang Wuxian never could copy.

"Yes... You did it for me when I moved in. Because-"

"It was too early for lotus soup" they both spoke in unison.

"I'm glad you still remember" her intuition had spoken many times that she could be wrong, but every time she saw this boy her heart would tell her it was true. This was her real brother. She looked at him, from top to bottom sitting in the counter chair to share his treats with Lan Wangji

"Those are very tasty, you will like them. Oh, we should do them for Qing and Ning too! And take the rest for Yuan! He will love it! Do you think they will let him eat in the hospital?" Even the way he ranted nonstop was the same.

"Mn. There should be no problem" Wangji spoke watching the corner of Wuxian lips drip with the melted chocolate inside the cakes. Before he could move Yanli had already taken a napkin to give the boy.

"You are dirtying yourself! How old are you?" She laughed giving him the piece of cloth.

"Xianxian is three" he smiled brightly inclining to offer his face to be clean. An inside joke only they knew. The smile faulted when she gasped at his actions. "Jie, are you okay?" The worry took over his face seeing the girl cry.

"It's you. It really is you" she hugged him tight being hugged back.

"Mn. I'm home" he managed to say before hiding his face on her shoulder.

"How..."

"The boy you know as Jiang Wuxian was in fact the one who lures him in" Wangji spoke, a half cupcake still in hand "he was never my Wei Ying. Just like I said"

"I-" she realized her arms giving a step behind "what have we done" mouth covered by hands "you... You must hate us... After the hospital..."

"I don't" it took them by surprise when he cut her words. Even Xichen, who knew all sides, was Astonished by his feelings. "I mean... I can't. I was never a part of the Jiang's... not like him... Not for so long. Disappointed? Yes. I am. But more about myself... For being so easily replaced....I must have been a bad kid..." He smiled sadly now, looking at the cakes in front of him, voice getting low as he speaked "or he could never take my place"

"Wei Ying", "a-Xian..." Yanli and Wangji reached for him at the same time.

"To be honest with you... I am Angry at myself" she spoke rubbing his hair "I... Always felt he it wasn't right. They told me his behaviour changed because of the experience he had but.. I never said anything... Mom was so happy to have you back, we... We were all so happy that everything was over... I... Oh God... All the pain you must have suffered" she covered her mouth again, but this time, to suppress the shriek on her throat.

"You can't think like that. None of you" Xichen spoke as loud as he could with his hangover splitting his head open. Mingjue had brought him home in the morning, but he had no time to sleep in his lover's presence, and when he finally closed his eyes, Yanli knocked down the door. "It was all Jin Guangshan fault. He is the one to blame here"

"Wait" she stopped him, eyes wide open "Jin Guangshan as... Zixuan father?"

"You know him?" Xichen furrowed his brows

"Yes!" Her voice came out as a scream. "And you too, xian! He was the cop responsible for your parents case. I remember my father talking about this. Him and Wen Ruohan would always comment on how you gave them the slip at the scene just to be under a good friend roof"

"They what?" Wangji spoke fiercely, missing the way Wuxian's face went pale. He shaked as a liaf to the man mention. But this was not unnoticed by Xichen, who had long moved to her side.

"Child Wei, do you know them?" He stood still waiting for the other reaction, but all Wuxian gave him was a teary smile in return.

"How could I, right?" He stood up to leave, but Wangji took his hand before he could

"Wei Ying, you can speak to us. We believe in you" he reassured him by tightening the grip over his hand.

Wuxian's mouth opened and closed many times before he could speak. It's not that he didn't believe in them, he just was afraid. Of his memories, of his past life hunting him again. His mind was all over the place, if not by the touch of Wangji warm, the cold he felt could overcome his body, freezing him in place.

"I... When I got to the Jiang's house... Uncle told me I had a fever so high I forgot all my memories... But... There are still a few I never forgot. One those...The one about the day my parents died...." His eyes focused on nothing, looking at the hand above his. "I can still smell the burned clothes of the cop... But... They arrived after the fire... He should not have this smell right? I.. I thought it was an illusion, my mind playing tricks but... When I was at the house... I would see him there with uncle Jiang. And in the house... That house..." His features froze, lost in memories

"Wei Ying?" Lan Wangji's voice sounded so distant. His whole body felt heavy.

Wuxian fell on his weak knees, being held by Xichen. He could hear voices calling his name, but they were all just jumbled sounds reaching his ears "in the house..."

"It's okay, take your time, come" Xichen took him in his arms, carrying the boy to the couch, where Wangji got moments later with a glass of water and Yanli behind him.

"Here, drink it" Wangji said, putting the cup on Wuxian's hands, kneeling in front of him. But the other body had no straight to hold it. He carefully put the glass over Wuxian's mouth, forcing him to gulp the liquid. Only then the boy was able to react, holding strongly at Wangji arm

"In the house... I heard him... Lan Zhan... He... He killed them... Oh God.. the things he did... He..."

"It's okay... Everything is okay now. I am here" Lan Wangji hugged Wei Wuxian, comforting the boy with his embrace. He felt a sudden anger taking over him. A need to make everyone in the world pay for the pain inflicted to this pure man. He kept repeating those words, feeling Wuxian trembling on his arms, crying and sobbing for a long time until he slept too tired to keep his eyes open.

"I... Should not have said anything" Yanli spoke quietly at Xichen after accompanying him in the silent watch

"No... This is good... Is a new lead that we need to investigate… Maybe this time we can actually bring a suspect to light, not a coward who killed himself" he saw a ray of hope flash through his mind. Someone to pay for all those life's destroyed by the egoistic man.

**Author's Note:**

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